Saturday, August 28, 2010

Testing the Waters

I haven't checked in here in forever and my mother has mentioned it a time or twenty.

Life has changed in many ways since I used to post regularly.

My oldest daughter lives in Vegas and she is engaged. She is twenty now. In another year, she will be legal to visit those casinos she lives near.

She has purchased a house with her fiance. She works one full time and one part time job.

I hope she will eventually do something with that awesome singing talent she has. Are you reading this, Jen?

My other daughter has started middle school. I watch her walk determinedly onto campus every morning carrying her two-ton backpack and her saxophone. It seems a lot to carry for one small girl.

I see the difference between the sixth graders and the eighth graders and realize in two short years, she will be one of those eighth graders. Dragon shirts will be replaced with "cool" clothes and it will be much more important to look like everybody else. I want to hope she will continue to march to her own drum. She has always been exceedingly stubborn, often to the point of making me crazy. It is sad to see my last little girl is growing into a young lady so quickly. How amazingly fast it goes by.

My son has not started school yet. His classes start on September 7th. I am the teacher this year. Since his sister has gone off to school, he has made it obvious how badly he wants socialization. I am making some play dates with others, but it will be much easier once "school" starts. Then we can join in activities where he will meet a large variety of people.

This isn't going to be easy. He already gets upset when I make him do practice work. I asked him the other day, during one of his complaints, if he thought homeschool meant watching television all day.

"Yes I did," was his reply.

We have a challenging year ahead of us.

But, oh, the things I don't have to worry about. I don't have to worry about what to pack for lunch that is allergen-free or worry about his lunch boxes getting thrown in the trash. I don't have to worry about him sitting at his desk making ceiling fan noises, annoying the other children, and not completing his work. I don't worry about the aides trying to make him "independent", which was code speak in our school for "don't have the money to supply an aide all day."

I realize this isn't the choice every family makes, and we all try to do the very best we can for our children. This is just the choice that feels right to us at this time. And who knows what the future holds?

A huge weight has lifted off my chest, HUGE. I didn't realize it was there until it was gone. Very soon we shall start. I am nervous but optimistic. Wish us luck.