I Am the Ant Slayer
This year I decided to try some natural methods to kill them. There were a few reasons for this.
1. I didn't want poison in the house. (not counting corn sryup and trans fats)
2. I wanted to save money.
3. None of the three pest control companies I called would answer the phone.
My first attempt at natural pest control was scattering cornmeal on the floor. The ants are supposed to take it to the nest, eat it and then explode because they can't digest it.
It didn't work. Too bad because the idea of exploding ants filled me with glee.
My second attempt was sprinkling Borax on the edges of the kitchen counter. It seemed to work. I cleaned it up after two days. The next day, not only were those bastards back, they'd brought their cousins with them.
My third attempt came out of desperation. They had crawled into the cereal cupboard. I buy my cereal on sale, but still you almost need a second mortgage to afford the shit.
This was war!
I filled a saucer with honey and Borax and put it in the cereal cupboard. I also placed one on the counter across from the cupboard.
The ants went crazy. They were ringing the saucer and running up the sides of the cupboard as fast as their nasty little ant legs could carry them.
The next day they were still there but not quite as thick.
By the third day they were gone. I saw two, promptly killed them, then cleaned the counter with a 50/50 mixture of white vinegar and water. (The vinegar kills their scent trail.)
What happened was they took the Borax back to the nest, shared it with the others and they all died. The thought of their deaths fills me with way too much joy. I won't be seeking counseling.
Another natural thing I'm trying is cleaning the bathroom with Borax and lemon juice. It looks clean but I can't seem to rid myself of the conviction that my lungs must be burning for my bathroom to actually be clean.
Nobody has died from any dread diseases yet so it might be okay.
I'm also diluting my shampoo by fifty percent with water. My hair looks clean, okay well, actually I didn't style it today so it looks scary. I'm pretty sure it smells clean though.
My husband and I are going to Morro Bay in July while his folks get stuck with the kids. We are having three nights alone, ALONE. What will we do without somebody yelling that they are BORED or HUNGRY every two minutes?
Eh, we'll figure something out.
The motel even has a hot tub so I can wear my granny suit in it. Maybe that will scare the other bathers out.
If not, maybe I'll offer them a saucer of honey and Borax.