Saturday, June 28, 2008

I Am the Ant Slayer

Every year, as soon as the heat hits, in march the ants on their annual forage for water.

This year I decided to try some natural methods to kill them. There were a few reasons for this.

1. I didn't want poison in the house. (not counting corn sryup and trans fats)
2. I wanted to save money.
3. None of the three pest control companies I called would answer the phone.

My first attempt at natural pest control was scattering cornmeal on the floor. The ants are supposed to take it to the nest, eat it and then explode because they can't digest it.

It didn't work. Too bad because the idea of exploding ants filled me with glee.

My second attempt was sprinkling Borax on the edges of the kitchen counter. It seemed to work. I cleaned it up after two days. The next day, not only were those bastards back, they'd brought their cousins with them.

My third attempt came out of desperation. They had crawled into the cereal cupboard. I buy my cereal on sale, but still you almost need a second mortgage to afford the shit.

This was war!

I filled a saucer with honey and Borax and put it in the cereal cupboard. I also placed one on the counter across from the cupboard.

The ants went crazy. They were ringing the saucer and running up the sides of the cupboard as fast as their nasty little ant legs could carry them.

The next day they were still there but not quite as thick.

By the third day they were gone. I saw two, promptly killed them, then cleaned the counter with a 50/50 mixture of white vinegar and water. (The vinegar kills their scent trail.)

What happened was they took the Borax back to the nest, shared it with the others and they all died. The thought of their deaths fills me with way too much joy. I won't be seeking counseling.
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Another natural thing I'm trying is cleaning the bathroom with Borax and lemon juice. It looks clean but I can't seem to rid myself of the conviction that my lungs must be burning for my bathroom to actually be clean.

Nobody has died from any dread diseases yet so it might be okay.

I'm also diluting my shampoo by fifty percent with water. My hair looks clean, okay well, actually I didn't style it today so it looks scary. I'm pretty sure it smells clean though.
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My husband and I are going to Morro Bay in July while his folks get stuck with the kids. We are having three nights alone, ALONE. What will we do without somebody yelling that they are BORED or HUNGRY every two minutes?

Eh, we'll figure something out.

The motel even has a hot tub so I can wear my granny suit in it. Maybe that will scare the other bathers out.

If not, maybe I'll offer them a saucer of honey and Borax.

11 Comments:

Blogger MsCellania said...

I love me some white vinegar. It is a mild disinfectant, too. I use it as my 'fabric softener' in the dispenser cup. When I run out of my bona wood floor cleaner, I'm going to substitute vinegar and water in the spray bottle. I bet it works just as well, at a fraction of the cost.

4:24 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I never knew that about Borax. I hope I live long enough to get to try it out.

5:10 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

Mscellania - I use vinegar and water in my mop pail, not 50/50 just kind of thrown in and it works great. I've also started using it as a fabric softener too. Works wonderfully and never would have thought of it on my own.

Old Hoss - You could always find an outside anthill. Make it a pre-emptive strike.

7:47 AM  
Blogger paula said...

Aren't you suppose to leave a carcass or two laying around as a message to all the other invaders, um, I mean ants?

6:36 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

Paula - Hmmm, I didn't realize that. I thought they ate their dead. Damn ants.

9:21 PM  
Blogger livesbythewoods said...

Caro, you are a genius. I wonder if we can get Borax over here.

8:00 AM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

I actually got chills when you said the cornmeal makes ants blow up. I'm very disappointed it did not work. I feel the glee.

8:57 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

We had ants in the kitchen a couple of years ago. I tried some natural methods, including dryer sheets, but nothing except Raid seemed to work.

I'll try your trick if they come back. BTW, still can't find washing soda anywhere... may have to pay for shipping.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

I have to try this. The ants are driving me mad.

9:12 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

Hehehe,you should keep that mix in your purse always,just in case you need it.

We have ants too. Big,crunchy carpenter ants. I mostly iggnore them if they are not in my kitchen.
They seemed to have learned their lesson after I killed a few hundred of their brothers,muwaahaahaaha!
The cats like to play with them though,that's fun to watch;p

10:23 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

Livesby - A genius, me? Ooh that's the nicest compliment I've got in a while. :-)

GM - I've heard Cream of Wheat works too but not until they drink some water. SPLAT!

Liz - That bites about the washing soda. :-(

Mary - They are incessant buggers that's for sure.

Ms. L - Cheap entertainment! LOL

4:02 PM  

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