Friday, November 23, 2007

The Trash Picker

My grandfather was a man who hoarded things. Many times he would scold others for throwing "perfectly good things" into the trash. When he passed away, his bedroom was filled with miscellaneous treasures including tons of empty Pringles cans.

My daughter, Azure, has inherited his trash picking tendencies. She finds things on the ground and brings them to me. "Look Mom, somebody dropped the ribbon off their helium balloon! Look at this pretty pencil without an eraser! Wow a bookmark, can you believe somebody dropped this?"

I am inevitably repulsed by the various germ-covered things she presents me with. One time when she was visiting her friend Michael, they went through the next-door neighbors' trash. The neighbors had moved and left some "perfectly good things" sitting in the trash.

Among the things they found were a tricycle with one wheel and a broken kid's toy drum set. Michael's mother said they had a great time riding the tricycle down her driveway. She presented the drum to me where it sat in my garage until I could sneak it in the trash.

And boy do I have to sneak stuff into the trash. When I clean her room, I have to banish her from the premises. "But Mom, that's my favorite rock. I found it when I was walking from school!"

Two weeks ago her sister threw a dead rose in the trash. She pulled it out and put it in a vase in her room.

It dawned on me recently that she will never change. We were driving. It was nighttime and off in the distance were some lights. She asked, "What's that it's beautiful?"

That beautiful sight in the distance; it was the county dump!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I Got Scolded But Mission Accomplished

Has anyone ever been on cafemom?

They have some autism support groups and tons of other groups, anything you can imagine. You will find your group or maybe twenty or more groups you like.

And if you're really bored and want to see the fur fly, create a post on formula feeding, circumcision or illegal immigration. Then sit back and pass the popcorn.

I have been perusing my gfcf group a lot lately as we are all getting our Thanksgiving recipes ready.

Anyway there was this very annoying ad for Cost Plus Imports or one of those type companies. It kept popping up and unfurling like a roll of toilet paper. Then it froze cafemom. It was getting very annoying as it came up on every damn page.

I tried to hit the contact cafemom button only it froze up. I managed to finally get to my post areas and put out a plea for help to the other moms. I wanted to know how they managed to manuever around the bleeping ad.

The next time I logged on, I had an e-mail from the group admin scolding me. I was told to not complain about the ad sponsors, that if I had an issue I needed to contact cafemom. Boo-friggidy-hoo. LOL

I tried to hit reply so I could tell her I had tried to contact them but the ad wouldn't let me.

Sadly, one can't reply to the cafemom team.

Well my post was deleted but you know what else? That damn ad is gone too.

Whee - mission accomplished! I may have got my tongue lashing for the day but it was worth it.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Veterans Day

Thank you to those who have served our country.

Thank you to those who are serving our country now.

Thank you to the families of the veterans, the ones who wait and worry and pray.

This country has numerous freedoms thanks to veterans. I am thankful for each and every one of them.





Whereas it has long been our customs to commemorate November 11, the anniversary of the ending of World War I, by paying tribute to the heroes of that tragic struggle and by rededicating ourselves to the cause of peace; and Whereas in the intervening years, the United States has been involved in two other great military conflicts, which have added millions of veterans living and dead to the honor rolls of this Nation; and

Whereas the Congress passed a concurrent resolution on June 4, 1926 (44 Stat. 1982), calling for the observance of November 11 with appropriate ceremonies, and later provided in an act approved May 13, 1938 (52 Stat. 351) , that the eleventh of November should be a legal holiday and should be known as Armistice Day; and

Whereas, in order to expand the significance of that commemoration and in order that a grateful Nation might pay appropriate homage to the veterans of all its wars who have contributed so much to the preservation of this Nation, the Congress, by an act approved June 1, 1954 (68 Stat. 168), changed the name of the holiday to Veterans Day:

Now, Therefore, I, Dwight D. Eisenhower, President of the United States of America , do hereby call upon all of our citizens to observe Thursday, November 11, 1954 , as Veterans Day. On that day let us solemnly remember the sacrifices of all those who fought so valiantly, on the seas, in the air, and on foreign shores, to preserve our heritage of freedom, and let us reconsecrate ourselves to the task of promoting an enduring peace so that their efforts shall not have been in vain.

I also direct the appropriate officials of the Government to arrange for the display of the flag of the United States on all public buildings on Veterans Day.

In order to insure proper and widespread observance of this anniversary, all veterans, all veterans' organizations, and the entire citizenry will wish to join hands in the common purpose.

Toward this end, I am designating the Administrator of Veterans' Affairs as Chairman of a Veterans Day National Committee, which shall include such other persons as the Chairman may select, and which will coordinate at the national level necessary planning for the observance. I am also requesting the heads of all departments and agencies of the Executive branch of the Government to assist the National Committee in every way possible.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and cause the Seal of the United States of America to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington this eighth day of October in the Year of our Lord nineteen hundred and fifty-four, and of the Independence of the United States of America the one hundred and seventy-ninth.


Sunday, November 11, 2007

Dear Enterprise

Dear Enterprise,

I regret to inform you that I cannot possibly return your Hyundai Azera.

It isn't because of the smooth ride and ease of handling which I absolutely enjoyed. It isn't because of the XM radio. That was much like cable television, all those channels, nothing good on.

It isn't because of all the leg room for the front and the back seat. It's not because of the moon/sun roof or the neat little visor that went up on the back window to block sun glare.

The driver and passenger side climate controls were lovely. My husband had his at sixty-six degrees while mine was at eighty-four. It isn't because of that either.

The reason I can't return your car is because of that seat warmer. When I turned on the seat warmer, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. It felt sooooo good. My toosh has never been so happy.

Please feel free to charge my credit card for, well whatever you can fit on it. Mwahahahahahaha.

Carolyn B

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Apple Pie

Fall is coming. It's a time when this old gal's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of apple pie.

I love apple pie and apple crisp too.

Nobody in the household shares my extreme love for apple pie. That means I can make it however I want.

Or maybe I'll make an apple crisp. Or MAYBE I'll put pie crust on the bottom and crisp on top. I'll have my pie and eat it too.

It could be that I'll top it with some vanilla ice cream or even better, soy ice cream. Perhaps I'll even squirt a wee bit of whipped cream on top of that! There is no replacement for whipped cream.

Some Johnathon apples will make a fine pie indeed. I can't wait.

What is your favorite pie?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Dunkin Donuts Can Kiss My Shiny Heiney

Dunkin Donuts, mmmm Dunkin Donuts, purveyors of fattening goodness. Does anybody else like Dunkin Donuts?

When we visited Maine three summers ago, I was able to have some. I ordered their Boston Cream Pie donuts. They are filled with vanilla pudding and topped with chocolate frosting. They are a little piece of pot belly heaven.

But now to the root of my problem with Dunkin Donuts. I'll put it in letter form, not that they will ever read it or care if they do.

Dear Dunkin Donuts Corporation,

You are the same corporation who owns Taco Bell, are you not? It is impossible to swing a dead burrito in CA without hitting one of your Taco Bell (make a run for the bathroom) franchises.

Yet there is not one, NOT ONE, Dunkin' Donuts that I know of in the Northern Californa area or even in Southern California. That's right. If I want a Boston Cream Pie donut, I am just SOL.

Now I see that you are putting your over-priced coffee in the stores. You want me to buy your coffee? You can't offer me the availability of your donuts but you very GENEROUSLY placed your coffee in the local grocery store.

Here is my memo to you. KISS MY ASS! I will buy YOUR coffee when and only when I can go into a local Dunkin' Donuts store and purchase a Boston Cream Donut at the same time. If California isn't good enough for a Dunkin Donuts franchise, I am sure as hell not drinking your damn coffee.

Carolyn B

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Tan In a Can

I was getting ready to buy lotion in the store for my legs last week when Jasmine told me she had some I could have.

It was the kind that very gradually builds up and makes your legs look a bit darker.

Yesterday after my shower, I moisturized my legs with it. I kind of sloshed it around on there.

This morning I noticed huge brown streaks up the front of my shins. It was not a gradual tanning lotion like I had thought. It was an instant one. Anybody that has used an instant one knows you have to rub them in very carefully or you will get the result I currently have.

It appears as if someone used my shins to wipe their bum after they took a crap. Maybe that explains some of the funny looks I received yesterday. Ya think?

Monday, November 05, 2007

Dropped off the Blogger Radar

The lovely Paula from Mixed with Sugar has decided to do nablopomo (sp?) this month.

So I am feeling inspired by her to up my output at the very least. It will probably be quantity not quality.

My original thoughts were grouchy and growly. Shocking, huh?

Instead I will post about something positive in my life. I had a little boy, who was two years and six months old who had about twenty words. He couldn't show or tell me what he wanted and he was terribly frustrated.

I now have a little boy who is four years and eight months old who talks up a storm. There is no way to count the words that stream from his mouth. He gets his point across quite well.

The other day his ABA tutor asked him if he was a boy or a girl.

He said, "I'm a boy and Daddy's a boy. I have a weenie and Daddy has a weenie."

How far we have come...