Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Sweating to the Oldies

It seems I mentioned in an earlier post that my class reunion was coming up. I can't remember. It was my, gasp, 20th.

The people that were planning it sent out very last minute invitations, like a month before the event. Or maybe only the people like me received last minute invitations. (Her, I don't remember her. Oh yeah, it was the freaky goth tall chick.)

The reunion was held on the 28th of December. I chewed on going but that was only to see my friend Diane, who sounded positive she was going. Only it was one-hundred twenty dollars, three days after Christmas, a four hour drive away, and we didn't have a car at the time that fit the whole family.

I told her via e-mail that I wasn't able to go. She hadn't signed up either. I would have killed her if I'd signed for it and she wasn't going.

The people hosting the reunion set up a myspace site. I went online this weekend to see if I recognized any of the people who had gone to the reunion. Nope, I didn't. Not only that, but they all looked really old and fat. How did that happen to them when I still look the same?

One thing I had wondered about was, if I had gone to the reunion would it propel me mentally back to high school? That question was answered when I was looking at the pictures. The lady (I use that term loosely) who was voted most eligible bachelorette was one of the people who had been a snotty mean girl in high school. I found myself asking my husband, "Do you think she still screws for coke?" Twenty years later and some things never change.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Surely the Easiest Meme I've Ever Done


1. Swarms of pedestrians in the crosswalk in front of the grocery store that walk veeery slowly. Just move it and let me through, would ya?

2. People, who when I'm merging on the freeway, speed up and totally screw my merge.

3. The glass of apple juice that always spills on the floor five minutes after I've mopped it.

4. Poopy diapers that smell worse than the elephants at the zoo. (I think elephants poop smaller than my son though.)

5. "Easy open" food packaging that I end up hacking with a knife and cutting to shreds while trying to get into it.

6. People who feel like the anonymity of the internet allows them to say nasty things to others. (Not talking about any of you. Cafemom reference.)

7. People who feel their way is the ONLY way to do things and criticize yours. (Yes Virginia, there is more than one way to fuck a chicken.)

8. Food manufacturers who feel like every freaking product they produce has to be filled with gluten. That would be most all of them.

9. The smell of a cat box. (One reason we will never again own a cat. There's enough stinky things around here.)

10. That lovely lump of fat that permanently lands around the midsection after the first child.

11. Celebrities with private jets telling the rest of us to think green.

12. Celebrities acting like twits who constantly make the news. Color me unsympathetic, but could Britney just jump off a cliff and get it over with already?

13. The cost of groceries.

14. Property taxes. I already payed for it now I have to get squeezed yet again twice a year.

15. The rising cost of medical insurance. Yep, my husband's employer passed it on big time this year.

16. Housework, ugh.

17. People who get to the checkout line and dig in their purse/wallet for 20 minutes.

18. Pants that shrink in length the first time you wash them.

19. When the bite of food that missed my mouth lands on my boobs.

20. When my kids use my clothes for a napkin.

21. Stepping in bubblegum.

22. Wrinkles.

23. Pants that fit great when you try them on then sag in the ass after the first hour you wear them.

24. My complete lack of ass to hold my pants up.

25. People who are perfect parents and look down their noses at the rest of us. Yeah, whatever.

For Joke

The Mr. Bento Link:

Mr Bento

It's up to 43.43 now, but still a good deal.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

A Brilliant Scholar

I went to school early last night, two weeks early. Oops. Since I was there anyway, I went to the book store. My book wasn't in yet which meant no chance of buying used. Ended up meandering to Amazon when I got home and ordering it. Those textbook publishers must make millions, millions I tell you!
It was also my thirteenth wedding anniversary. We are broke, our usual post-Christmas state of finance. Hubs and I exchanged cards. He gave me a candy bar. I gave him some truffles. The truffles came from Target. They are Lindt Lindor Truffles. The white chocolate ones have a filling that tastes like cream cheese. I only tried half a one since yesterday was day one of the evil diet.
I also have to mention that yesterday was my cousin's birthday. Happy Belated Birthday Brad!
Packed hubby's lunch this morning in his Mr. Bento. Mr. Bento is the world's coolest lunch box. You can buy it on Amazon for about 40.00. My parents sent hubs an Amazon gift certificate for his birthday and I spent part of it on his Bento. Let me describe it for you. I'm sure you are all intrigued by now. :-) Basically there are four bowls stacked in a vertical insulated container. The two bowls on the bottom keep hot stuff hot. The two bowls in the top keep cold stuff cold. It's perfect for packing stir-fry and rice. Today I packed enchiladas and rice in the bottom containers and salad and crackers in the top ones. I have packed him spaghetti with meatballs before and chicken soup with rice. Using up leftover dinner has never been so fun. Now go forth and buy a Bento!
Have I ever confessed on here that I am a bargain shopper? I love the thrill of the chase. If something is on sale, it's great, clearance is even better. I get a high from a good sale.

I never expected to so thoroughly enjoy a new car. I love the smell and the way it drives. (I haven't run over enough curbs to screw up the alignment yet.) The heated seats are heavenly and the little cell phone built into the mirror is just plain fun.

So I wonder if I were a wealthy "money is no object" person, would I still enjoy the rush of a sale? Would I gloat in paying half price for Coach and Prada? Probably I would. LOL There's nothing like a good bargain, is there?

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year

Good morning. It's another new year, bright with the promise of sticking to those resolutions this time. I could list them all but then I'd have to eat my words at a later date.

One resolution I will share is that I have vowed to go gluten-free again. It lowered my cholesterol for some reason, which means that the last four months of unabashed gluten gluttony cannot become a way of life again. Does anyone want to share their resolutions and their perceived likelihood of sticking to them? Come on now. Don't be shy.


My kids said some very funny things in the last year. Azure told me that she knew why you had to have a mom and a dad to have a baby. With a sinking heart, I asked her why. She said because the dad has to drive the mom to the hospital while she's in labor.

Sammy has come up with a few funnies. He said he wanted to turn the sky off and on. I told him that was God's job. He then asked if he could just flip the switch that turns the sky on and off. Now I can picture God up there with a giant switch.

He told me that eating bup (breastfeeding) makes you feel all better. (Yes, he's weaned. I decided to do it before he started inviting his friends over for milk and cookies.) I never knew breastfeeding made you feel all better. If I still had milk, I could market it as an anti-depressant. Maybe I'd make enough money to pay for my badly needed boob job due to breastfeeding.


My husband purchased a new car for me the day after Christmas. This is huge. My first car was used. I bought it because it was what I could afford. My second car was used. I didn't even get to pick it out. My parents negotiated a deal with a friend who owned a car lot. They picked it out. I made the payments. It was yewgly. My third car was what I could afford. Seeing a pattern yet? LOL

On the 26th, hubster and I went down to the Saturn dealership. All the 2007 Saturns were going for zero percent financing. There was one 2007 Aura left. It's black. Usually I don't like black but it's pretty. It has onstar for a year and best of all, seat warmers. I looooove them.

We have to get SJ a smaller car seat so all three kids can fit in the back. We'll probably get him a travel harness. Anyway, he was riding in the front (airbag off) and he said, "My weenies warm."

We thought it would make a nice Irish prayer. You know, along the lines of may the wind be always at your back, may the road rise to meet you and may your weenie always be warm.


And now more weenie talk.

I joined an online mothers group of mothers who didn't circumcise.

I did this because we did not circumcise and I sometimes have questions and nobody to answer them. On my side of the family, everyone has been circe'd for the last two or three generations.

Before I go any further, I want to say I am not anti-circumcision. I think both sides have compelling arguments, really six of one a half dozen of the other. Most people must feel the same way since the split on who does and who doesn't is about fifty-fifty.

But this group I joined, I can tell they are very strongly against it. Were I to support the cause as fervently as they, I would need a special super-hero outfit, a cool moniker and a motto. I could wear a shirt with the word "circumcision" on the front but with a red circle around it and a slash through it. I can see it now. "Foreskin girl, saving the world one penis at a time!"

One woman had a video in her signature of an actual circumcision. The medical profession informs us that infants do not have a mature central nervous system yet so they do not feel much during this quick mostly painless procedure. I'm here to say "bull$#@*!"

Have you ever had the doctor tell you something will be mildly uncomfortable? You know this is doctor speak for "The insurance company is too cheap to spring for morphine. Suck it up."

Well I'm hoping this was an old video. Somebody in the know who has recently had a boy or knows someone who has, tell me they numb those babies now. Immature central nervous system my ass.

I am less trusting of those who "know" what's best for me and my kids than I have ever been.


So is anybody nursing a hangover today? Did anybody wear a lampshade last night?

I don't have a hangover but I went to bed at nine, oh and I didn't drink.

We are such an exciting bunch. I think maybe once in my whole life I've stayed up until midnight on New Years. So share your fun party stories and let me live vicariously through you.

Have a great New Year!