Happy New Year

Good morning. It's another new year, bright with the promise of sticking to those resolutions this time. I could list them all but then I'd have to eat my words at a later date.

One resolution I will share is that I have vowed to go gluten-free again. It lowered my cholesterol for some reason, which means that the last four months of unabashed gluten gluttony cannot become a way of life again. Does anyone want to share their resolutions and their perceived likelihood of sticking to them? Come on now. Don't be shy.

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My kids said some very funny things in the last year. Azure told me that she knew why you had to have a mom and a dad to have a baby. With a sinking heart, I asked her why. She said because the dad has to drive the mom to the hospital while she's in labor.

Sammy has come up with a few funnies. He said he wanted to turn the sky off and on. I told him that was God's job. He then asked if he could just flip the switch that turns the sky on and off. Now I can picture God up there with a giant switch.

He told me that eating bup (breastfeeding) makes you feel all better. (Yes, he's weaned. I decided to do it before he started inviting his friends over for milk and cookies.) I never knew breastfeeding made you feel all better. If I still had milk, I could market it as an anti-depressant. Maybe I'd make enough money to pay for my badly needed boob job due to breastfeeding.

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My husband purchased a new car for me the day after Christmas. This is huge. My first car was used. I bought it because it was what I could afford. My second car was used. I didn't even get to pick it out. My parents negotiated a deal with a friend who owned a car lot. They picked it out. I made the payments. It was yewgly. My third car was what I could afford. Seeing a pattern yet? LOL

On the 26th, hubster and I went down to the Saturn dealership. All the 2007 Saturns were going for zero percent financing. There was one 2007 Aura left. It's black. Usually I don't like black but it's pretty. It has onstar for a year and best of all, seat warmers. I looooove them.

We have to get SJ a smaller car seat so all three kids can fit in the back. We'll probably get him a travel harness. Anyway, he was riding in the front (airbag off) and he said, "My weenies warm."

We thought it would make a nice Irish prayer. You know, along the lines of may the wind be always at your back, may the road rise to meet you and may your weenie always be warm.

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And now more weenie talk.

I joined an online mothers group of mothers who didn't circumcise.

I did this because we did not circumcise and I sometimes have questions and nobody to answer them. On my side of the family, everyone has been circe'd for the last two or three generations.

Before I go any further, I want to say I am not anti-circumcision. I think both sides have compelling arguments, really six of one a half dozen of the other. Most people must feel the same way since the split on who does and who doesn't is about fifty-fifty.

But this group I joined, I can tell they are very strongly against it. Were I to support the cause as fervently as they, I would need a special super-hero outfit, a cool moniker and a motto. I could wear a shirt with the word "circumcision" on the front but with a red circle around it and a slash through it. I can see it now. "Foreskin girl, saving the world one penis at a time!"

One woman had a video in her signature of an actual circumcision. The medical profession informs us that infants do not have a mature central nervous system yet so they do not feel much during this quick mostly painless procedure. I'm here to say "bull$#@*!"

Have you ever had the doctor tell you something will be mildly uncomfortable? You know this is doctor speak for "The insurance company is too cheap to spring for morphine. Suck it up."

Well I'm hoping this was an old video. Somebody in the know who has recently had a boy or knows someone who has, tell me they numb those babies now. Immature central nervous system my ass.

I am less trusting of those who "know" what's best for me and my kids than I have ever been.

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So is anybody nursing a hangover today? Did anybody wear a lampshade last night?

I don't have a hangover but I went to bed at nine, oh and I didn't drink.

We are such an exciting bunch. I think maybe once in my whole life I've stayed up until midnight on New Years. So share your fun party stories and let me live vicariously through you.

Have a great New Year!