Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Coming Up For Air

Hey, I'm still alive, really!

We left town Friday night to go camping. It ended up being late Friday night, as my husband discovered a flat tire on the RV. He took it to Just Tires and they took Just Two Hours to fix it.

Around eight p.m. we loaded up for a six hour drive with all eight dogs. The puppies rode in a crate.

I had unthinkingly done something very stupid on Friday morning. I cooked up a large batch of meatloaf so the men could have meatloaf sandwiches for lunch. The stupid part was giving some to Boots.

Boots intermittently shared little whiffs of swamp gas with us on the way. Oops, did I say "little" whiffs?

SJ rode in the front for part of the journey. He had a blanket on his lap. Boots would fart. SJ would smell it and shriek in anger while pulling the blanket over his head. What can I say? We're such a lovely family.

We made it to the RV park at one-thirty am. The in-laws had held our spot. SJ was mad because he wanted to go visit with his grandma and poppa. They love him dearly, but not at one-thirty in the morning I would think.

As soon as we got there, I laid out a plastic swimming pool for the puppies to pee in. SJ kept yelling loudly, "Grandma, Papa blue truck."

Yep, the rednecks had arrived at Quail Valley Recreational Village.

We were out of bed by seven the next day. The puppies started crying at five so I was awake long before I was out of bed.

The vacation consisted of visting with my in-laws and my parents. My parents came up Saturday.

I didn't sit down much of this vacation. The puppies were in a crate part of the time but most of the time seemed to be spent feeding them and cleaning their poop.

We gave up on the pool. They were learning how to jump over the sides. Luckily, we had a playpen the former owners had left in the RV. It was too nice for puppies but it's not like I'm having any more children.

I worried the whole time about parvo to the point that everyone was tired of hearing me talk about it.

My parents gave me an early Christmas gift because they knew I needed it. It was a Kitchenaid bowl mixer. Now I can make gluten-free breads without killing the motor. Hooray! They'd best not buy me anything else for Christmas. Actually I think the next two Christmases are covered.

The kids played in the river/brook that was behind our lot. They also went fishing, something I was too darn tired to do with them. SJ didn't fish, but "A" caught five. My oldest daughter was too cool to go fishing.

My MIL gave me lots of clothes for the kiddos. They were cute clothes. One pair of pants she got for SJ looked huge. He put them on and they fit. When did that happen? When did my baby get so tall?

I had hoped to sleep better on Satuday night than I did on Friday night. I cleaned off the couch so I could sneak on it when SJ started hogging up the bed.

When I went to the couch, in the middle of the night, I could hear someone snoring on it. I was out of luck. I laid on the edge of "J's" bed, hanging partially off.

Later SJ woke up and I went back to my bed. The puppies whined a lot that evening too.

I finally took them outside to eat and pee at five in the morning. The big dogs wanted to go too.

When I came back in the RV, I realized nobody was on the couch. It was strange because I had heard them snoring. Thoughts of a haunted RV entered my head.

My husband pointed out quite sensibly later that I had probably heard a dog snoring. So much for my ghost theory!

We left early Sunday. A lovely time was had by all. It might take me a month to recover from this "vacation."

And I still need to finish cleaning out the RV.

Friday, August 25, 2006

We are going to go camping this weekend.

We couldn't find anyone to puppysit.

One RV + 5 people + 8 dogs = total chaos.

Cross your fingers for me.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Good-Bye to Tom the Bomb

Our cat Tom recently lost a lot of weight. He usually loses weight in the summer but not to this extent.

To make a long story short, he needed to be laid away.

Wednesday night was our last night with Tom.

We adopted Tom about ten years ago when we lived in San Jose. I took my daughter, my only child at the time, to the shelter.

I tried to steer her towards an adult cat, but she fell in love with a little black kitten.

We took him home and he hid from us at first. After a few days, he decided to come out.

When we left San Jose, he came with us to our new town. Moving wasn't his favorite thing. He did lots of feline complaining in the new place.

Tom eventually settled in and things went back to normal. We had moved to a house with a yard that was in a semi-rural area. Now Tom could go outdoors.

After a while Tom began leaving poop spots everywhere he laid. I banished him from my bedroom after I had to wash my quilt for the third time in a week.

I banished him from the couches too. He wasn't a happy camper. (BTW, this means they need their anal gland drained. I didn't know that at the time.)

He also had litterbox issues. When he pooped, the whole house reeked. We could scoop it immediately and still the scent lingered. One of his favorite things to do, or at least it seemed that way, was to poop in it while someone was taking a bath. The lovely aroma of Tom wafted through the bathroom to curl the nose hairs of the hapless bather. That's how he got his nickname.

Then we started getting dogs. Tom HATED dogs. The dogs were never mean to him. They tried to play with him, but he wasn't having it.

Tom wasn't super affectionate. He would let us pet him for about two minutes and then he bit our hands.

Eventually, between his stinky butt, his hatred for the dogs and his insistence on sneaking in my room, he ended up living on the porch. He had his own bed and no dogs were raiding his food dishes. Best of all, I didn't have to smell his butt!

But then he would scream at night as loud as he could, usually around two a.m. I threw more than one pitcher of water on Tom the Bomb due to my irritation at being awakened. He soon got wise to that. He would scream at the door and run the minute I got to it.

One morning at five a.m., I went after him with a hose. I was five months pregnant and in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear chasing him. Suddenly I noticed a man walking his dog staring at me. Hello there, neighbor. Don't mind the crazy, fat lady.

Tom got to come in the house occasionally. But he soon realized that between SJ and the dogs, the porch was a better gig. It was all his.

The sick Tom of recent days was a completely different cat. He wanted to be petted and loved. He even purred a little bit.

I talked to the vet yesterday regarding some tests and I realized it was time.

Even though Tom wasn't eating much, I purchased him some tuna. He made a valiant effort to eat it. We petted him and told him good-bye. The two adult dogs had to stay the night outside. Tom got the run of the house just the way he liked it. He snuck up on the couch while everybody was sleeping.

I realized in the last few days, he was not just the surly cat who lived on the porch. He represented the beginning of our marriage, one of the first animals we owned together. He was the first animal my daughter picked out for herself. He's been with us through two pregnancies, one miscarriage and four dogs, ten if you count the puppies.

I've probably scooped a thousand of his cat poops.

I brushed him for a while this morning and took his picture. He took his last ride to the vet in that bright green pet carrier he hated.

I handed him over but I couldn't say good-bye. I hope he knew that we were saying good-bye last night.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Crazy/Busy Week

It's one of those weeks with lots of appointments and things to do.

I tried to visit all your blogs tonight. I didn't always comment 'cause my brain is fried. But I enjoyed reading them very much.

I'm posting a pic of my Cecil. Feel free to go, "AAAAWWWWW."

Monday, August 21, 2006

The Joys of Breastfeeding

Sunday, August 20, 2006


Blogger is refusing to let any photos upload again. AAARRRGGGHHH!

Another weekend is about over. Where do they go?

My husband and I had a date last night. Instead of eating Mexican food yet again, we went to Red Lobster.

Red Lobster has something called the ultimate feast. This is a plate with shrimp scampi, breaded shrimp, a lobster tail and some crab legs. Oh yeah, you get a potato and salad too.

Years ago we went to a Red Lobster in San Jose. We had a waiter who had an accent. He pronounced "feast" as "fist". So when he repeated back our order, he said "ultimate fist."

So of course we still call it that to each other. Last night we both ordered the ultimate fist. My husband had some Newcastle Ale and I had a few margaritas.

It was very nice. I haven't had butter in so long that it tasted too rich. That right there is blasphemy.
I also cleaned the heck out of the house yesterday and so decided to rest today. The house already looks horrid.

There is no rest for the wicked, is there?
I need a job. There's only one problem. The only hours I can work are from 12:15 to 1:45. I could work evenings, but wait, my husband doesn't always get home from work on time. Oh and Monday and Wednesday evenings I have to drive my daughter to taekwondo. Did I say there was only one problem?

Let's see. I haven't worked a "real" job in 11 years. Every place I have ever worked has claimed bankruptcy or gone under, with the exception of a Jack In The Box when I was 16.

Who would like to hire me, anyone? (crickets chirping)

Yeah, I'll be bringing home the bacon. Does buying it at the grocery store with my husband's paycheck count?
I know a little girl who was supposed to go to bed twelve minutes ago. I guess I'll have to go light a fire under her butt.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Every Woman's Dream

This was in the strange news section of Comcast. These aren't my words. It's a copy and paste.

KENOSHA, Wisconsin - A 21-year-old man was trapped in a tank of chocolate for about two hours early Friday, police said.

Capt. Randy Berner said the worker said he got into the tank at the Debelis Corp. to unplug it and became trapped waist-deep in the chocolate.

"It was pretty thick. It was virtually like quicksand," Berner said, and co-workers, police and firefighters were not able to get him out until the chocolate could be thinned out.

"It's the first time I've ever heard of anything like this," the police captain said.

The worker said his ankles were sore after the incident, and he was taken to a hospital for treatment of minor injuries, Berner said.

Now for my words. I would have eaten my way out. Mmmmmmm, chocolate.
A man pulled out in front of me as I was driving yesterday.

I smiled and waved at him as if he were my long-lost cousin Cleetis from Hicksville, USA.

He looked more confused than President Bush trying to do a first-grade math problem.

It was actually MORE satisfying than flipping somebody off. Try it sometime.
There was more grocery store drama today, not mine.

A lady was in line waiting to check out. Another lady got behind her and said, "I was actually in this line first. I went over there to the other checker, but I didn't realize he was closed."

Translation - "The grass looked greener over there and I left my spot, therefore freeing it up for you. Maybe if I'm pushy enough you'll give it back."

The lady who had entered the vacated spot merely said, "I'm sorry."

Good for her.

As my Dad says, "Move your feet and lose your seat."

This was many times accompanied by the takeover of the living room chair you had vacated to use the bathroom.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Life Lessons

Being married is like working in customer service. Often you smile and nod when you'd much rather say, "Screw you very much."

And sometimes, when they're not looking, you pee in their coffee.
We all hate going to the grocery store, I think.

Does anybody else get irritated with this?

Yesterday it was my turn to check out and the person in front of me, who was done, didn't get out of the way. She was standing there fiddling with her purse.

When it is my turn, I want to stand where I can swipe my ATM card and start entering my pin number. Maybe I start bagging my groceries.

But I can't do that if someone is IN MY SPOT.

Maybe I'm overly crabby, but I want people to conduct their business and get the heck out of my way. Yeah, I'm overly crabby.
I've also given up on courtesy at my oldest daughter's high school.

There is a large circle where parents drop off their kids. You are supposed to pull to the right and drop your child off. Then you merge back into the left hand side and leave.

For two years I have followed this rule while other parents, whose time was far more important than mine, dropped thier kids off on the left.

On the first day of school, I dropped her on the right. I put on my signal to re-enter traffic.

Nobody would let me in.

Screw it. I'm dropping her on the left.

People still cut me off, but at least I'm in the flow of traffic instead of helplessly waiting for the one non-asshole among the sea of super assholes who will let me in.

Common courtesy is dead and I'm tired of feeling like the only one who practices it.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Potty Humor

When I was driving "A" to school last week, we saw a tree covered in toilet paper. SJ started laughing his butt off.

As we drove off, he yelled, "Bye bye poopins."

He also has the penis obsession thing. Do all little boys have this going on?

He was outside playing with a toy bathtub. It squirts water out a little hose. I looked out the window and he was naked and washing himself "you know where."

He also tried to poke it through a hole in a DVD on Saturday. As long as he has a penis, I guess he'll be able to find ways to entertain himself. Not that I ever expect him not to have one.
While "A" is in year round school, the other two started today. I am now an official driver.

One goes to school at 7:10. Then one goes to school at 8:00. Then one goes to pre-school at 12:00.

Then I pick one up at 2:12 and one at 2:30 and one at 3:15. We have to be at voice lessons by 3:30. This is on Monday. Taekwondo is from 5:30 to 6:15.

Do I get anything done on Monday? Absofreakinglutely not!
I have fallen in love with one of the puppies. I wasn't going to do this. I was keeping my distance.

But he is sweet and so affectionate and so cute.

His name is Cecil. He is the smallest, the one that gets tromped on at feeding time. Tonight I gave him some alone feeding time with his Mom.

He is shy, but he closes his eyes blisfully when I pick him up and pet him.

I DO NOT want to sell Cecil. I want to keep him forever and ever.

This sucks.

I could sell Mandy and keep Cecil but that would be just wrong. So I will send little Cecil out into the big, bad world and hope somebody loves him as much as I do.

They'd better.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Total Money Makeover

My husband and I are reading "The Total Money Makeover", which was reccomended to me by Ms. L of Those Weird Home Schoolers.

While I won't share all the details of the book, the reader is encouraged to get rid of some of the extra things they don't need.

For us, that would be the minivan. As my husband said, continuing to keep it is the equivalent to playing a game of Russian Roulette.

I went in the garage and cleaned the dash, the seats and all the nooks and crannies. My husband vaccumed it all over with the shop vac. (He found my favorite sunglasses. Sweet!) My husband washed the outside. I wiped it down.

I cleaned out the glove box except for the owner's manual and our proof of insurance. Then we drove to the nearest CarMax to sell the damn thing.

On the way there, I felt as if the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.

My husband found a gentleman to give us a quote. He came out to the van. Guess what! We needed the registration to get a quote. DUH!

In my glovebox cleaning enthusiasm, I had put the registration in the house.

My husband stayed with the van while I drove the 1/2 hour home. I had to stop for gas on the way so that added ten minutes.

I called my husband when I got home while I was searching for the registration. The only problem was that when I looked at it, it was an old one.

No problem. I went to the place where we keep our bills and started thumbing through. There it was!

Only it wasn't a registration. It was the papers to send in to get registered AND a smog check was due. This wouldn't have been a huge problem if our deadline wasn't July 28th. Oops.

Methinks a little bit more organization is called for here.

There's always next week.

Me + a money makeover = you can lead a horse to water. But I will persevere. I promise.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

What May Be The Most Boring Blog Post Ever

There's nothing funny for me to share - nothing, nada, bupkis. (however you spell it.)

There's nothing interesting for me to share either.

So I will ramble on and bore everybody. This might be useful for Bearette or anybody else who suffers from insomnia.

It was ninety-two degrees this week. The weather last week was more moderate, a lovely seventy-eight degrees.

I drove my minivan this week with the windows down. While it was still not as bad as when it was one-hundred and six degrees, it was bad enough to make me sweaty and crabby. My children would like to add here that I am always sweaty and crabby.

We are supposed to get rid of the van tomorrow. I hope we stick with that plan.

SJ has had insomnia this week. Too bad he can't read my blog. That would cure it.

He has been impossible to get to bed and about as hyper as a hummingbird on Red Bull.

I have to shut off the light in the bedroom and then I have to put one of the doorknob covers on the inside of the door. Since he can't escape, he shrieks. Finally he goes to sleep, but he tosses and turns all night long.

I am so tired that I want to drop where I'm standing.

I tried two new recipes this week from a gluten-free cookbook. They both came out horrible. Don't ya hate when that happens?

My oldest daughter and SJ go back to school Monday. She has to be on campus at 7:10 this year so we will have to leave the house by 6:45. SJ only goes to school from noon to two-thirty, not nearly long enough for me to meet my boyfriend for lunch and a quickie. Kidding!

There hasn't been a lot of time for blogging this week. When I sat down Thursday night to read all of your blogs, blogger was down for maintenance.

When I tried to blog Friday, SJ kept shoving a piece of paper in front of the computer screen. The boy has a way of getting his point across.

Are you all asleep yet?

Now repeat after me - WOWZY WOWZY WOO-WOO!

Who remembers what show that was from?

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Psychedelic Mama

Two nights ago I noticed a burning sensation when I peed.

Later that night I woke up having to go very badly only I didn't feel done and it still burned.

Today I schlepped to the doctor and, big shock, I have a UTI.

Every UTI I have had in the past has evidenced itself by lower back pain. This was my first burning UTI.

The doctor asked if I would like some pills for the burning. I told him sure and that I hadn't known those kind of pills existed.

He told me they would make my urine orange. I told him that I wished there were pills to change the color of children's urine. Then maybe they would be more interested in potty training.

He laughed a bit and gave me my prescriptions. I took the prescriptions to Dong's Long's Drug Store and picked them up this evening.

I went to the restroom around nine tonight and wow was it orange! I thought he meant a pale, washed out orange. No way!

I am peeing bright flourescent Halloween jack o'lantern orange.

Of course I made my husband come look at it. I was impressed. He was grossed out.

It was pretty funny to me. I was hooting and hollering like a hillbilly at a moonshine tasting party.
My husband has been working some crazy hours at work. He did an all-nighter a few nights ago. He fell asleep at the keyboard and the beeping woke him up.

His head had landed on a certain letter and the screen was filled with that letter.

The letter? Z.

Monday, August 07, 2006

All In a Day's Work

Today SJ:

Poured a whole cup of freshly made soy milk with strawberry syrup down the drain. Never mind that soy milk is three bucks a carton!

Yelled quite loudly in the library - at least three times

Took the spices I had mixed together to make curry and "drank" them out of the cup. Then he threw them down the sink.

Sprinkled whole peppercorns in the broccoli I made for dinner.

Snuck out in the garage and "washed" my freshly washed car. He sprayed Shout on it and rubbed it with a dirty t-shirt.

I'm earning every one of those gray hairs.
My middle daughter has began eating like a truck driver.

After school she ate:

A bowl of Rice Krispies.

A bowl of ice cream.

A bowl of grapes (begrudgingly)

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

This was all before dinner.
My oldest daughter is learning to drive.

I hold my seat and pray when I am her passenger.

She exited the highway yesterday and the truck wobbled back and forth a bit on the exit ramp. I wisely said nothing.

But then she asked, "Did you fart?" (I hadn't)

And I replied, "No, but I almost crapped myself back there."

"Mom, you're mean," she said.

Ask a stupid question...
I finally remembered one thing I hadn't shared about myself in the last year that would have been good on yesterday's "eight things about me" list.

I am a nervous giggler. I giggle at innappropriate times, times when a person is supposed to be solemn.

Unamazingly, it doesn't go over well.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Chelle Tagged Me

I've been tagged. Here's the rules.

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a post with 8 facts/things/habits about yourself and say who tagged you. In the end, you will need to choose the 6 people you tag and list their names. No tag backs.

This is tough. There's not much left to say about me.

1. My favorite food is lobster.

2. I get to eat my favorite food about once every two years.

3. If I were on death row, and I got to pick a final meal, it would be lobster with butter, hot french fries, chocolate cream pie and a blended margarita. I would want water to wash it all down. Probably margaritas aren't allowed in prison, huh?

4. I love to bake and try new recipes.

5. When we went gluten-free and I tried new recipes, we threw out lots of food.

6. I go on ebay to see what the things I want to sell are worth.

7. I end up buying more junk instead.

8. I'm not going to tag six people, but would love to read eight facts about all of you anyway.

Per Vickee's Request

I'm sorry there aren't more pics. It's still hard to get a good photo.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Stolen From Joke

It's another meme. I haven't felt very creative as of late so I'm cheating.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? I can't remember. I was too drunk.

2. What color are your eyes? Blue

3. When was the last time you went sledding? This winter. It was only for about five feet in my back yard though.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? It depends on my mood. If I want to wake up without a backache, alone is good.

5. Do you believe in ghosts? Sure, why not?

6. Do you consider yourself creative? Meh.

7. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? For what?

8. Who was your first crush? I think his name was Tommy Withee. What a lovely name! It sounds like whoever picked his last name had a lisp.

9. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? I can't keep my mouth shut long enough to keep my own secrets. But if somebody else tells me one of theirs, I'm a vault.

10. Have you ever been ice skating? Yep. I went when I was a kid. My ankles were too weak and my feet went out sideways.

11. How often do you remember your dreams? I don't know. If I forgot them, how would I know how many I forgot?

12. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? I can't remember.

13. Can you name 4 songs by The Beatles? Yep.

14. What's the one thing always on your mind? Lately, finances. Inflation bites.

15. What talent do you wish you had? The ability to dance without looking like a fish that's been thrown on shore.

16. Do you know anyone in jail? I don't know. Are any of you blogging from the joint?

17. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? I don't know.

18. Have you ever been punched in the face? Yep, but I couldn't punch her in the face because she kept turning around and running away when I tried to pop her one.

19. Do you own any stuffed animals? My seven-year old owns enough for me and an entire third world country.

20. Do you have a major crush on someone? Snicker

21. Do you miss someone right now? I miss my extended family back in Maine.

22. What are you listening to right now? The dishwasher and SJ.

23. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? No, but I was sad when Elizabeth Montgomery passed.

24. What color underwear/boxers are you wearing? As long as they don't have holes, does it matter?

25. Where do you work? If work is defined by being paid, I don't work.

26. What ended your last relationship? I knew he was lying because his lips were moving.

27. What food do you crave right now? Chocolate cream pie with a nut crust and whipped cream on top.

28. What was the last TV show you watched? Beats the hell out of me.

29. What is the last thing you ate? Dinner - ribs, taters and corn. Yee-haw.

30. Are you on any medication? Yeah, but it's not the fun kind.

31. What side of the bed do you sleep on? The left, unless my husband is out of town. Then I steal his side. It's comfier. My side kind of slants downhill.

32. What color shirt are you wearing? Dark green.

33. What is your favorite frozen treat? Soft serve vanilla ice cream on a cone.

34. How many tattoos/piercing do you have? One small tatoo, rather boring and pierced ears.

35. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married? Why? Did my husband divorce me and forget to tell me?

36. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble? A girl has got to have fun occasionally.

37. Do you like your nose? S'okay.

38. What color is your bedroom? I can't see the walls past the clutter.

39. Where do you live? Planet Earth.

40. Are you an aggressive driver? No.

41. What color is your car? Light blue.

42. What do you smell like right now? BBQ sauce.

43. What is your favorite color? Red.

44. What character from a movie/TV most reminds you of yourself? Squidward from Sponge Bob.

45. Do you enjoy giving hugs? It depends on who I am hugging.

46. Do you own a digital camera? Yes.

47. What books, if any, have made you cry? I can't remember.

48. Are you a jealous person? Only of people with minivans that don't break down.

49. 69? How did the person that wrote this meme know that was the year I was born? Amazing, huh!

50. What shoes are you wearing right now? None.

51. What is your major weakness? Food.

52. Do you suffer motion sickness? Only if I read in the car.

53. What's the best pizza? Round Table's Guinevere's Garden Delight with original crust or any pizza from Uno Chicago or is it Chicago Uno's? It's been too long since I've been there.

54. Longest relationship? I guess with my mother. She carried me for 9 months and has known me ever since. Marriage-wise, I've been married eleven years.

55. Are you afraid of thunderstorms? I love them.

56. What do you want to be when you grow up? Beats me.

57. Have you ever given or been given an engagement ring? Nope. I am not the sort of woman who inspires romance.

58. What was the last gift someone gave you? My Mom purchased lots of gifts for me while I was on vacation - curtains, tablecloth, laundry detergent...

59. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? My hubby.

60. Can you cook? Yes. Otherwise we would starve.

61. What is your favorite jelly/jam? Strawberry.

62. Can you swim? Yes, but I don't.

63. What is your first memory? Being held in my great grandmother's lap. I remember the way it felt. When you're a baby, you can feel when somebody loves you. Methinks we lose the ability as we grow.

64. What item would you like to have buried with you? I'm getting cremated and I want to be put in some fireworks and shot into the sky. For once, I would like to be the life of the party.

65. What are three things you're dying to have right now that would make everything just about perfect? A trust fund, a cure for autism (like Joke said), and that chocolate cream pie I'm thinking about.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Belated Chickens

Fisher Price Chickens. I love the old Fisher Price toys, but my kids don't. They'll be going on ebay soon. 'Cuz I need the money, honey.

Chicken Basket. Found on a yard sale. I thought it was kind of cool.


Another yard sale chicken. I found her on a yard sale for a dollar. I listed her on ebay but she didn't sell, and I was glad.

She hasn't been displayed in a while due to our long-armed monster. (SJ)

Thursday, August 03, 2006

So Happy It's Thursday (I'm sure I've used this title before)

It's a lovely morning. It's cool outside with a light breeze.

It's the kind of morning that makes me all giddy and high.

Don't tell my probation officer.
We have given up completely on the minivan of doom.

The air conditioner went out. The garage wanted eight-hundred dollars.

Nope, no way, no how.

I am driving the Ford Probe that has 134,900 miles on it, and I am happy. It runs. I trust it. We get where we need to go.

We are selling the lemon minivan outright at carmax. They can fix the bit@#.
My son is potty-training, at least for number one.

Yesterday I had to leave the bathroom for a minute.

When I came back, he had flushed a plant down the toilet, or attempted to.

I took my toilet brush and dug out the huge clumps of dirt.

Now I need a new toilet brush, but at least I don't need a plumber.

The Chickens Are Shy

Blackbird wanted chickens for show and tell today.

But blogger does not want to post photos. Boo!

I'll try again later.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Mom Interrupted

My house is full of half-finished chores. There is half-folded laundry in the living room. There is a half-cleaned kitchen, a half-cleaned bathroom, a half-made bed and so on and so forth.


Because I am constantly interrupted. The kids think that the minute I start breathing start doing a chore is the perfect time to interrupt.

Take the kitchen. If I'm going in the kitchen, it is only to serve them, right?

I wash my hands to unload the dishwasher. Here comes "A."

"Mom, I'm hungry."

Nevermind that she sucked down a peanut better & jelly sandwich, a glass of milk and half a bag of chips ten minutes before. She's hungry NOW!

Me: "You'll have to hang on. I've just started cleaning the kitchen.

A: "But I'm hungry. I'm reeeeaaaally hungry. My stomach hurts."

Me: "You just ate."

A: "But I'm stiiiiiiiillllll huuuuunnnnngggrrrryyyyy.

Then it is SJ's cue to come into the kitchen.


Me: "Hang on and AT LEAST let me finish....

SJ: (climbing in freezer) "POPSICLE!"

Me: (frantically starting towards him) Wait a ....

SJ: (waving around a handful of popsicles) "POPSICLE, POPSICLE!"

So then I have to stop and open them for him. And then "A" does the old "since you had to stop to get his popsicle can you make me....?"

There is a new produce stand in town. The kids and I went to check it out. I was hoping for some blackberries, but had no luck.

However, I did buy a beautiful eggplant and some fresh spinach and some cabbage. Mmm mmm good.
Because Mandy is nursing puppies, she is getting some canned food to supplement her dry food.

Boots has been giving me hangdog looks when he sees that the contents of her bowl are clearly more pleasing than his.

So I took pity on him and gave him some.

I now have two dogs who are farting like they are the grand prize winners of a boiled egg/cabbage eating contest.

My house smells like dog butt.

Boston Terriers: Their butt is worse than their bite.