Saturday, May 31, 2008

New Beginnings

There have been two graduates in my family in the last two weeks. One is my oldest daughter. She graduated from high school. The other is my son who graduated from preschool.

While I attended both graduations, I didn't actually see either one of them get their diplomas.

My daughter's graduation was scheduled for seven-thirty on a Friday night. She had to be at school by five-thirty. She called me on the phone to tell me she had to park very far away as the road was already filled with cars. Since we weren't dressed and our sitter wasn't showing up until six-thirty, there wasn't much we could do.

We were at the gates by six-fifty, tickets in hand. Each graduate had been given five tickets. The people with tickets were to be let in before seven. The people without were to be let in after seven.

The minute we got to the gate everybody was let in early. Imagine if gas were on sale for a dollar twenty-five a gallon and the first person to win the foot race got to fill their tank for a year at that price. That's how fast everybody STAMPEDED into the bleachers, leaving a spot in the nosebleed section.

How far away were we?

My daughter is down there. She's the one in the green robe. This picture was taken with my lens zoomed in as far as it could go.

This is a picture without the camera zoomed in.

I eventually stood up near the fence to watch but I still couldn't see her. When I heard her name, I screamed so loud that the boys in front of me turned around and said, "Wow that's some enthusiasm."

Too bad she didn't hear me. Next time I'm taking an air horn.

The school choir, in which she is a member, sang two songs. I told her that she hadn't mentioned to me she'd be singing at graduation. She told me she didn't think it was that important. Sigh.

My son's graduation was on a Thursday afternoon. Usually his preschool does it outside on the grass. This year they did it inside the classroom.

While my daughter's graduating class had about four hundred and fifty students, my sons class seemed to have four hundred and fifty parents.

This was my view of my son's graduation.

Sensing a theme here?

Since my daughter had graduated in a robe, my son was more than willing to put his on. Normally there would have been no way he would have donned it.

In the case of both my son and daughter, pictures were taken by their respective schools of them receiving their diploma. So even though I couldn't see, I still have two visual mementos.

I also took a picture of my daughter after her ceremony.

She is off to a two year college in the fall. After she's collected all the cheap credits she can, we'll send her to a four year college.

She is interested in choir and photography. She received a very nice camera for graduation with a telephoto lens and all the bells and whistles. She's very good at taking pictures and especially skilled at cleaning them up with photoshop. Maybe I'll have her take some pics of me and then blur out a chin or three.

I have a picture of my son before his ceremony.

My son is headed off to mainstream kindergarten, MAINSTREAM kindergarten, something I never dreamed of two short years ago. He will probably need an aide which the school district won't want to supply. I can even understand that from their point of view, as aides cost money.

It's a good think I'm fingerprinted with the district since I'll probably be working as an unpaid aide in the fall, huh?

School is still not out for my son and youngest daughter. June 10Th is their last day.

We can hardly wait.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I'll Grow Up Someday

Should I be scared that I'm enjoying being mean so much?

Mr. Roarke called. He wants his suit back.

White Diamonds.

This gentleman wrote that he wanted to enjoy "wholesome" conversation with somebody. Wholesome is a code word for what?

If you are too lazy to post a picture that doesn't include your ex-girlfriend, you're probably too lazy to change the toilet paper roll.

Monday, May 12, 2008

More Snarky Fun

It seems to me that if I were posting my picture to a "rate me" website, I would want to look somewhat intelligent and or attractive.

But maybe I'm wrong. Here are some more "rate me" pics. Look if you dare.

Will never be spotted singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T at the karaoke bar.

I couldn't figure out the hand sign until I saw his fingernails. I think it is ASL for "send soap and water, please."

Call Geico. A caveman is loose.

Does anyone remember the joke about the elephant, the mouse and the Porsche?

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Acting Like a Twelve-Year Old

I'm probably the last person on the planet to know this but there is a website called Hot or Not. People post their pics and you can go rate them. Cue evil laugh here.

Well of course I navigated to this site as soon as I heard of it. And I had the pleasure of rating others ANONYMOUSLY! I only wished I could put in comments such as, "Clean your bedroom you damn pig." Or "Holy Moly, you look like a serial killer."

But my favorite pic of all of them was this one. I wanted to say, "Hey, would you like me to pass the Charmin?"

What do you think?

Friday, May 09, 2008

Computer Troubles

Hello all.

My computer monitor took a dump. I am currently on my husband's computer but he uses Mozilla Firefox, which I despise.

While I will be checking my e-mails sporadically, I will probably not be blogging until I can afford a new monitor.


Thursday, May 01, 2008

Road Trip

Jasmine has her senior trip tomorrow. She is going to an amusement park in Vallejo. The next day she has a choir festival in Santa Clara about sixty-five miles away.

The school officials in charge of transportation, in their infinite wisdom, somehow managed to arrange transportation to the park BUT there is no transportation from the park to Santa Clara.

So unless I want my daughter standing on the side of the highway with her thumb in the air, I will be showing up to give her a ride.

The good news is that we had purchased some tickets for Great America (in Santa Clara) through my huband's company. I spent my birthday money on those instead of on a tattoo. So we will be taking the kids to Great America on Saturday. Woo-hoot!

I can't wait to see if Sammy is tall enough for a roller coaster or if he will ride one.

I promise to get around to checking all your blogs on Sunday!
Jasmine's boyfriend broke up with her on prom night. At least he waited until after the dance.

Her boyfriend prior to this broke up with her on her 16th birthday.

If she ever marries I will spend the whole wedding day biting my nails.

She has been very depressed this week but seems better today. She and her boyfriend are still going to be friends.

So much for the Haagen Daaz party with the ex-boyfriend voodoo doll I was going to throw for her.
Y'all are probably getting sick of hearing about my flatulent dogs. But here I go again.

Science Diet didn't work. So I tried Science Diet sensitive stomach. No luck. I tried Science Diet sensitive skin. Limited luck.

Then I stumbled onto Royal Canin Bulldog and it worked great until recently. The dogs are back to smelling up my house. And I'm not talking about the occasional fart. I'm talking about the every three minutes make your eyes water type of gas.

They are also using my rug for rubbing their butts across. Yes they have been wormed. No it isn't their anal glands. Apparently their asses just itch!

They know if I catch them, I put them outside. Usually I can tell when they're going to do it and I give them the stink eye. They pay heed to the stink eye.

But gross! Who wants the dog scratching his butt with their rug.

I searched the pet food store for Science Diet Farting Dog with Itchy Ass to no avail. Sometimes life just isn't fair.

Y'all have a great weekend!