Saturday, December 30, 2006

Holding Pattern

There is not a lot going on here. We are waiting for school to start up again, and I'll hop back on my diet January 2nd, honest. :)

A few days ago I saw a wreath for only 98 cents at the grocery store. What a steal if one could figure out how to keep it green until next year. LOL

I found cookie monster bubble bath at Longs Drug for two dollars. It was on clearance since it was a seasonal item. Nobody takes bubble baths after Christmas, right! I didn't complain. I snapped it up and the kids are soaking in it right now, thus giving me a few moments of peace.

Also at Longs Drug, was a book by Joy Fielding. I started to put it in my cart. Then I noticed it was ten dollars - TEN DOLLARS FOR A PAPERBACK! It was bad enough when they went up to seven. I don't care if I have to get on a waiting list at the library or buy one on ebay. There is no way I'm paying that much for a paperback.

Lots of my Christmas gifts were really nice. My parents gave me some very cool slippers that look like this.

I love them and wish I could wear them to the grocery store. Maybe I could put my hair up in curlers too so the look would be complete. Heh heh.

My parents also gave me an Amazon gift certificate. There is a book by Kim Harrison that doesn't come out until May. If I pre-order it and also order another book and get the free super-saver shipping, I can get everything sent to me in May.

But if I don't use super saver shipping, if I actually PAY for shipping, I can get the other book mailed now and only have to wait for the Kim Harrison.

My inner "I want it now" child is warring with my outer skinflint. Sigh

Paula, from Mixed With Sugar, sent me one of her fabulous button necklaces. I LOVE it. She also sent me some Squirrel Nut Zippers, which I refuse to share. I have met so many wonderful people through blogging. It makes me want to move nearer to many of you, but that sounds rather stalkerish, doesn't it?

My in-laws gave me a fifty-dollar visa card. This one is tougher. I could buy new tennis shoes or clothes OR I could buy fifteen spin classes at the gym so I could fit in the clothes. Spin classes will probably win out.

My husband gave me some bath and body works stuff with the implication that he would watch the kids while I took an actual bath. I've eaten so much Christmas cookies that I'm not certain the tub is big enough anymore.

My oldest daughter gave me a measuring cup, a book and a necklace.

My youngest daughter gave me a coffee mug, a hand-painted tree ornament and a picture.

Santa didn't give me anything. I think he was mad because I ate his cookies and drank his milk. I'd heard his cholesterol was high, so while it was a sacrifice, I saved him from those cookies. He'll thank me someday.

I hope everybody has a Happy New Year and good luck keeping those resolutions.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

My Parents Took Me to the ER and All I Got Was This Stupid IV

Dear Santa,

I said I wanted an "RV", an "RV".

On Friday the 22nd, at 2am, SJ woke me up, and then vomited in my bed.

By six am, he seemed fine except for some diarrhea. Although about the fourth time, he had to go, he called it "hot poopins."

This will enter our vocabulary of kid-invented words along with, "sloppy jones, mountain doom and forkhead."

On and off over the next few days, he repeatedly seemed to get better than worse.

Then around three o'clock on Christmas day, he vomited again. This time it went all over the in-laws bed and their rug and their dresser.

After his post-vomit bath, he fell asleep.

When he woke up, he started crying and screaming, "My belly's broken." There were no tears coming out and he very rarely complains of pain, so we knew it was ER time.

One of the first things we had to explain when we got there, was that he was autistic. I now firmly believe that emergency rooms should affix a scarlet letter "A" on the foreheads of autistic children. This saves the parents from having to explain it at least five more times.

While we waited to be seen, he cried and said, "Ow, ow, ow."

When we went in, they told us that he needed an iv because he was dehydrated. They were also going to put some medicine in the iv for his cramping. He also needed a stomach x-ray and blood tests.

The iv went over about as well as one would expect. The nurse that did the iv was kind enough to take blood at the same time, thus saving him from two needle pricks.

We stayed in the room for a while waiting for the x-ray. He was then unhooked from the iv bag and rode on his Dad's lap to the x-ray room. I had to wait outside while his Dad tried to coax him into unnatural positions on the machine.

While I was waiting, a different tech walked by and asked me if I was waiting for the ultrasound room.

Yeah I get it jerko. I've eaten way too many Christmas cookies.

After the stomach x-ray, we went back to the room. A nurse came in and forced some slimy, green medicine down SJ's throat. It smelled as bad as it looked and he shrieked the whole time.

Then the doctor told us he needed a cat scan because there were gas bubbles in his small intestine. Since he had to hold still for eight minutes for the cat scan, we had to have him put under.

More bloody murder screaming commenced when he felt the ketamine being put through his iv.

After the cat scan, he was hooked up to the saline again while we waited for him to come around.

The doctor brought us the good news that he was quite sure he didn't have appendicitis, just the stomach flu.

SJ woke up and we took him home. Then we got him to bed.

Did he punish us the next morning? You betchya!

I have to say that other than the ER trip, we really did have a lovely Christmas.

Friday, December 22, 2006

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

My belly is hanging over my pants and I have dents on my forehead. (The dents are from pounding my head on the steering wheel while waiting in traffic.)

I am waddling as fast as I can move to get ready.

I'll post all about my crazy relatives after Christmas.

Just kidding; they read my blog. Damn. :)

And I need to say congratulations to cousin "K". I am so thrilled for you.

Everyone have a great Christmas!


Thursday, December 21, 2006

Shopping and Cooking and Packing, Oh My

So we are all getting closer to the big day and I am going crazy.

I thought I would do the six weird things about me meme before I run out the door.

1. I don't store e-mail addresses in my address book. If it's somebody I e-mail frequently, I memorize them.

2. I was born with two teeth.

3. I also used to have two toenails on each little toe. It's a family trait. Under the heading of TMI, I kept cutting the smallest one off until it refused to grow back. I already feel like enough of a mutant without that kind of stuff going on.

4. Unlike 99.99% of the population, I don't consider myself a good driver. On a scale of one to ten, I'm probably a six or seven.

5. I am a reverse psychic. If a person is having a girl baby, I will guess it's a boy. If they're having a boy, I guess it's a girl. I am 100% innacurate all the time. There's a reason I don't go to Vegas.

6. I caught myself singing, "I Love You Just the Way You Are" to Cecil in the kitchen this morning. So I'm certifiable now.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Pithy Observations and Bitchy Comments

Why does every radio station have to host a morning show?

When I get in my car, I want music. I don't want to hear the male show host talking with the obligatory, annoying, giggling female.

I don't want to try to call and win concert tickets or answer trivia questions. ATTENTION talk show host people, I just don't care about you.

Play my music, dammit.
Has anybody that lives in a foggy area ever noticed that fog lights aren't very effective?

I never see them coming or can see that they work when I'm driving with them.

Christmas lights, now they cut the fog.

Why can't manufacturers put a Christmas light option on our cars? Everyone would see us coming.

The only reason I can think of that it isn't done is that road rage incidents would rise in January due to the fact that everyone is tired of seeing the blasted Christmas lights.
I went to Ulta today. I tried on the Vera Wang perfume. Don't waste your eighty-five dollars.
If I am sitting at a light for two minutes waiting to turn left onto the freeway - and you come up next to me in the other left turn lane - and you accelerate as fast as you can when the light turns green - so you can cut me off before the lane ahead merges - you are an asshole. Wow, that was a big ass run-on sentence wasn't it? I didn't even punctuate it correctly.
That is all.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Some Help!

I can't post to some of your blogs anymore.

Is this the whole Beta thing?

Blogger won't recognize me at some of your sites. I feel like I'm being forced to upgrade, gosh darn it.

Some of you where I can't post are I am the Bookworm, Badgerdaddy and Mary Poppins.

Thank You

Thanks everyone for being so supportive of me. It meant a lot. I was very much afraid to post that particular blog entry and my fears were unfounded.
My cousin "K", who lives in Maine is in the hospital right now. She's pregnant with twins.

They each weigh around five pounds, which is good. However, she has started some mild contractions and needs to stay in the hospital in case the babies have to be delivered quickly.

"K", I'm rooting for you and your soon to be born boys!
Since it's that time of year, I have been remembering Christmases past. I would like to post a few memories.

My cousin John and I were two years apart. One Christmas we got identical toy trucks with cages on the back and plastic zoo animals in them. One of us got red and one of us got blue. They were small toys, but they were a huge hit. I can't remember who got red and who got blue. I'm betting on the fact I got the blue since blue was my favorite color. Otherwise, I would still be remembering the injustice of it all.

One Christmas season there was a commercial for an igloo builder. It was a hollow plastic block that you put snow in. The concept was that you could make perfect snow blocks and build an igloo. I got it for Christmas. Hooray! Only it didn't work. My igloo dreams were crushed.

My Aunt Beth, who was four years older than me, received one of those advertised on TV presents too. It was a little pair of plastic skis. We tried to go down a snowbank on them. They were yet another one of those things that looked SO cool on TV but didn't translate to real life. Or maybe it was because I am so clumsy.

One year I snooped and found a toy telephone before it was wrapped. Another year I snooped and found some Breyer horses. When I opened the horses, it wasn't as much fun as if I hadn't known about them. That was the year I realized it's more fun to be surprised.

What are some of your best Christmas memories?

Saturday, December 09, 2006

The Aftermath

So....where to start?

One of my recent posts mentioned that my oldest daughter has been less than charming lately.

We have tried grounding. If anything, she gets more defiant.

We have tried two different counselors in the last threee years.

We have had family meetings.

It has gotten easier to do chores myself than to ask her to help, because I dread the attitude she has.

If her sister knocks on her bedroom door, she screams at her to go away.

Her brother has cried on the way to pick her up at school.

I am not implying that we have been perfect parents by any means. First off, we yell too much. Secondly, our parenting styles are totally different and not consistent. That hasn't helped the situation.

I tend to show my love by doing things for my kids, but she seems to need her love shown differently. She needs constant compliments and attaboys, something I am wretchedly deficient in administering.

Anyway, in total desperation, we told her that she had to be nice and do her chores in order to live here. The other option was to move in with her Dad, who lives three hours away.

I honestly did not think we were that heinous that she would choose to leave. Apparently we are.

I was crushed. I still am dissappointed in her decision. But she has not changed her mind.

When we moved here, to our first house, seven years ago, I had such high hopes. We were all going to be one big happy family. Things don't always work out to plan.

If it weren't for the fact she has been so excessively hateful to her siblings, maybe we could have found something else to try. I honestly don't know what. And while I can see sometimes why she gets so irritated with her sister, her brother is only three and a half and she is sixteen. If he wants to go in her room and touch her stuff, is it any reason to scream at him and push him out the door?

She has decided to live with her Dad for six months at least. She will be visiting us during that six months, so we can all find out if she can live here and be civil.

I never wanted her to leave in the first place. I only wanted that big nasty attitude to go away. I wanted her to love her siblings and cherish them, not shriek at them for breathing the same air as she does.

While she is gone, we are going to get some professional help for ourselves. We want to improve our parenting skills and do a better job of making our children feel loved, whatever it may take.

And maybe, just maybe, she will miss us. And maybe she won't.

Her moving out is a moment I thought was at least two years away, maybe longer.

Life is funny like that.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

This Program Temporarily Canceled

We are having some family issues right now so I have to take a break.

Everyone have a Merry Christmas.