My Parents Took Me to the ER and All I Got Was This Stupid IV

Dear Santa,

I said I wanted an "RV", an "RV".

On Friday the 22nd, at 2am, SJ woke me up, and then vomited in my bed.

By six am, he seemed fine except for some diarrhea. Although about the fourth time, he had to go, he called it "hot poopins."

This will enter our vocabulary of kid-invented words along with, "sloppy jones, mountain doom and forkhead."

On and off over the next few days, he repeatedly seemed to get better than worse.

Then around three o'clock on Christmas day, he vomited again. This time it went all over the in-laws bed and their rug and their dresser.

After his post-vomit bath, he fell asleep.

When he woke up, he started crying and screaming, "My belly's broken." There were no tears coming out and he very rarely complains of pain, so we knew it was ER time.

One of the first things we had to explain when we got there, was that he was autistic. I now firmly believe that emergency rooms should affix a scarlet letter "A" on the foreheads of autistic children. This saves the parents from having to explain it at least five more times.

While we waited to be seen, he cried and said, "Ow, ow, ow."

When we went in, they told us that he needed an iv because he was dehydrated. They were also going to put some medicine in the iv for his cramping. He also needed a stomach x-ray and blood tests.

The iv went over about as well as one would expect. The nurse that did the iv was kind enough to take blood at the same time, thus saving him from two needle pricks.

We stayed in the room for a while waiting for the x-ray. He was then unhooked from the iv bag and rode on his Dad's lap to the x-ray room. I had to wait outside while his Dad tried to coax him into unnatural positions on the machine.

While I was waiting, a different tech walked by and asked me if I was waiting for the ultrasound room.

Yeah I get it jerko. I've eaten way too many Christmas cookies.

After the stomach x-ray, we went back to the room. A nurse came in and forced some slimy, green medicine down SJ's throat. It smelled as bad as it looked and he shrieked the whole time.

Then the doctor told us he needed a cat scan because there were gas bubbles in his small intestine. Since he had to hold still for eight minutes for the cat scan, we had to have him put under.

More bloody murder screaming commenced when he felt the ketamine being put through his iv.

After the cat scan, he was hooked up to the saline again while we waited for him to come around.

The doctor brought us the good news that he was quite sure he didn't have appendicitis, just the stomach flu.

SJ woke up and we took him home. Then we got him to bed.

Did he punish us the next morning? You betchya!

I have to say that other than the ER trip, we really did have a lovely Christmas.