Sunday, August 24, 2008

Whining or Stupid Spoiled American

Today I'm going to whine about stuff that is absolutely trivial. It's my blog and I will whine if I want to, whine if I want to, whine if I want to...

Now that I've infested you with an ear worm, on to it!


Ice cream isn't something I buy a lot. We could all stand to lose a few pounds, more than a few in fact.

It is a nice occasional treat though.

Imagine my surprise when I noticed at the store last week that ice cream on sale costs five dollars - ON SALE!

The kicker was the bastards shrunk the carton again. A carton of ice cream used to be two quarts. Then it shrunk to one and three quarters quarts. Now it is one and a half quarts. Did they think we wouldn't notice? C'mon!

It wasn't just one company. They all shrunk the size. Isn't this collusion, price gouging, SOMETHING?

One of the reasons dairy is so high is because it is being shipped to other countries. Hey, here's an idea. DON'T SHIP IT TO OTHER COUNTRIES!

It's bad enough that all the jobs are getting sent overseas. Don't send my ice cream too! Unpatriotic bastards!



A teacher in my son's pre-school had peanut allergy. He was never allowed to pack peanut butter.

I was so excited that when he started kindergarten he could finally pack peanut butter.

Guess what! There is a kid with peanut allergy so he can't pack peanut butter. GAAAAHHH!

Keep in mind that I do not want to kill anybody's kid. Peanut allergy is scary.

BUT my son can't have wheat or dairy or egg and he shouldn't have soy. Can you see my lunch packing dilemma here?

My son wants sandwiches. He wants to be like everybody else.

I can buy him gluten-free, vegan bread. But what kind of sandwich can I make him?

Egg salad is out!

Most lunch meats are loaded with nitrates/nitrites. He's not supposed to have those.

I can buy Hormel naturals lunch meat but I can't make a sandwich with mayonaisse or Miracle whip because they contain EGG.

He doesn't like mustard and vegan mayo is made with soy.

So lunch meat sandwich is out unless I use soy.

There's always tuna. But wait. That needs to be mixed with mayo to taste decent, plus it's filled with mercury. My son tends to hold toxins in his body rather than shed them so we don't need mercury.

I have purchased sunflower seed spread. It tasted similar to peanut butter, better I thought. He hated it.

Almond butter and cashew butter are usually pressed on the same equipment as peanuts so we were told that was out.

Sorry that you want a sandwich son, but somebody's peanut allergy has trumped your right to have a normal lunch.

Why can't they do a separate table set far away from the other kids for peanut butter lunches? Lots of schools do that.

Even better - take all the kids with peanut allergy and send them to a far corner to have lunch.

Ooh. I've got it. How about I demand everybody else's children eat lunches free of wheat, dairy, egg and soy?



When I've gone to the grocery store lately, I've noticed prices aren't rising just a little bit. They are shooting up overnight.

I'm not talking about five or ten cents. I'm talking about a bottle of oil going from three dollars to six or seven. Some items might rise by only thirty cents but ten items that are thirty cents higher equal another three dollars in my grocery cart.

I realize gas prices are up and companies have to make up the difference. But here's the kicker. Kraft Foods, alone, has increased profits of eight percent!

The companies are raising prices higher than they need to and then yelling that the gas prices forced them to do it. Uh-huh.

I realize this is a capitalist country and I'm all about the right to make a profit. But gouging - that makes me grind my teeth.

Next year may be the year I attempt a garden. You can't gouge me if I'm not buying your darn food now, can you?

Monday, August 18, 2008

And They're Off!

Sammy woke up quite late this morning but his ABA wasn't until after school so it was okay by me. Kid up late equals more time to enjoy solitary coffee.

He got up, ate breakfast and watched some PBS before it was time for school. I tried sneaking vitamins in his juice but I snuck in too many and he tasted them. I added Super Nu-Thera, the vitamin du jour of autism, some strawberry fish oil and some astragalus. Tomorrow morning I'll try sneaking in the astragalus by itself and deal with the others later.

His lunch wasn't much different than Azure's. I packed him an individual chocolate soy milk. (Thank you Costco.) I also packed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, chips with homemade guacamole and blueberries. Guacamole doesn't sound like a health food but he is quite thin and I try to plump him up. Avocado is some good stuff.

The teacher had sent a name tag to pin to his shirt for the first day. I pinned it on and we went in the bathroom to brush his teeth. He saw the reflection of his name in the mirror and told me I put it on "upside down."

I had to explain to him that it just looked that way in the mirror.

Then he brushed and managed to get toothpaste on his clean shirt. I wiped it off. He noticed that he couldn't undo the snap on his new shorts. We tried a few times and he still couldn't. Fortunately the shorts were adjustable so I made them just big enough that he could slip them up and down to go potty.

I STILL remember in first grade wearing some corduroy pants I couldn't unsnap and ending up peeing myself. Seriously it scarred me for life!

I got him off to school. He didn't want to stay until a little girl showed up that he knew. It was surprising to me exactly how maudlin I felt upon leaving the last baby at "big kid school."

I went home and did some dishes, cleaned the bathroom, mopped the floors and ran to the grocery store.

When I picked him up, he told me he wasn't coming home with me. I said, "So do you want to go again tomorrow?"

He said, "That's okay, I don't want to."

There was a pretty major meltdown after school and during ABA. I have the claw marks on my arm to show it. There have been too many changes of routine lately.

It will be hell for a few weeks but all will settle down eventually. It always does.

One Down One To Go

She really was happy. I think I caught her unprepared.

Today is the first day of school in case nobody caught me crowing about it in my last post.

Azure goes in the morning but Sammy doesn't have to go until the afternoon. This is a good thing since he is still asleep.

Azure was very excited. She was also very talkative at 6:30 in the morning. Ugh. I can't even form a coherent sentence that early.

I offered to make waffles but she only wanted a bowl of cereal. (breakfast candy)

She ate her cereal while I attempted to make coffee. Our coffee maker seems to have taken a crap. Hopefully I'm wrong. Please let me be wrong. We tend to worship at the altar of the Cuisinart Grind and Brew.

Azure put on her first day outfit with her new matching shoes. Only she informed me the shoes didn't fit. Since they had fit, according to her, when we purchased them at the store, I can only conclude she was tired of shopping and said they fit so we could be done. So instead of the black flats with the black outfit, she wore big clunky white tennis shoes. Oh well.

Lunch took about twenty minutes to pack. Did I mention I'm groggy in the morning? She is supposed to have a morning snack so I packed Ritz crackers with peanut butter for snack. Lunch was peanut butter and jelly, a water bottle, carrots and ranch and some blueberries sprinkled with a bit of sugar. Sammy and I like blueberries natural but little Miss Tooth Decay likes her sugar.

School starts at eight. It is a mile and a half away but we had to leave the house at seven forty-three. We also had to park a bit further away than usual. First day traffic is brutal.

I told her to walk near somebody because there is safety in numbers. She informed me that she KNEW how to look out for traffic. I'm not worried about her looking out for traffic. I'm worried about traffic looking out for her! If you want to find the very worse drivers in the world, watch school traffic in the morning. It's amazing. One wonders how some of these people managed to reproduce.

So off she went with her backpack and her big bag of school supplies. The house is quiet. I'm having my coffee. All is well.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Back To School Time

Both of the younger children start school Monday. To say I am thrilled is an understatement. One would think I'm in a Broadway musical the way I'm dancing around.

They have been running around the house for the last two weeks, screeching and fighting like a pair of rabid badgers. Taking them to the park to let them burn off energy hasn't been working. They are plainly tired of the lack of routine and these four walls. If the teachers knew what was coming their way, they would probably go on strike.

We went today to see which class Azure was in. Every year the school waits until the very last minute to post this information. We found her room number and walked to the door. The supply list was hanging on the door and the door was also ajar. Her new teacher just happened to be in.

This is the first teacher I have loved on sight. She had bleached blonde ratted hair, very eighties. She was wearing blue eyeshadow and jeans. She also gave off a very mellow vibe, probably the way she keeps her sanity dealing with a room of fourth graders.

Sammy ran up to her and hugged her and promptly said, "Save me from my Mom."

Thanks kid!

Way to make a first impression.
The kids each have one new first day of school outfit. Other than that I only did the necessary shopping. Azure needed new shoes, underwear and (gasp) itty-bitty bras.

Sammy's new outfit for the first day is ultra cool. I purchased him some little black shorts with white skulls on them since he is so very bad to the bone. Heh heh.

Azure actually let me get her a feminine outfit for the first day, a long shirt and leggings. Be still my beating heart, it didn't have a blasted dragon on it.
I stocked up at the grocery store for lunch stuff. The kids have carrot sticks, apples and blueberries to go with their sandwiches. I am making some vegan ranch dressing for Sammy to dip his carrot sticks in. I also purchased some avacados to make him some guacamole, one of his favorite treats.

Let's see how long I can go this year packing healthy stuff before I give up and throw in some chips.

Baking bread for Sammy's lunch is even harder now as we have found out he is allergic to egg in addition to wheat and dairy. Thank goodness for soy and peanut butter!
Tomorrow I will be picking up school supplies, washing laundry and getting completely ready for Monday.

School sweet school. Kids might hate it but I adore it.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I Don't Usually Ask For Anything But...

There is a fellow blogger on my list who goes by Undomestic.

HTML is not working for me. Here is her blog address.

She was diagnosed with a very aggressive breast cancer in August of 2007. She blogged about her treatemnts and her feelings during this time. She also blogged about her children and her family and everyday life. She has three of the most beautiful children you have ever seen.

She very recently finished her chemo and radiation and the cancer was gone. Only she was having headaches.

It turns out that when she was catscanned after her diagnosis, her brain was not scanned. The cancer is in her brain so she has to start this battle all over again.

If any of you have an in with God or can go give her some words of encouragemnt, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

When Life Hands You Lemons Buy a Six Pack of Coronas to go With Them

Well I can dwell and be depressed or I can keep busy while waiting for things to resolve. I think I'll keep busy.

A good friend brought by some summer squash from her garden last night. I also had on hand some tomatoes my in-laws had given me. Tonight we had a delcious vegetable casserole with our dinner. It contained garlic, onion, squash and tomatoes. I topped it with gluten-free bread crumbs and cashew cheese. (I can't call it nut cheese anymore. My husband laughs too much.) It was a wonderful and delicious way to use up nature's bounty.
The kids and I went south this weekend to visit my parents, a four hour drive. Those little DVD players that plug into your car socket are ingenious. I could give the person who invented them a big ole kiss maybe even some oral sex.

Anyway it was a great visit. My mother did all the cooking and cleaning. I felt guilty but thoroughly enjoyed it regardless.

On the way down Azure pointed out an orchard to Sammy and asked him if he thought the trees were pretty.

He said that they were and somebody might want to stop and pee on them.

Is this a guy thing?
I've mentioned cafemom on here before, my favorite spectator sport. It's fun to watch somebody make a post and then see the fur fly.

I decided to open a new account and make a fake post to see what people would say. Here was my post. I spelled some words incorrectly on purpose.

"I hope somebody can help me. I have the worst problim.

My husband farts all night long. In the morning the bedroom stinks so bad that I can't stand it. The first thing I like to do in the morning is have a cigarette. Only it stinks too bad in the room for me to stay. I'm also afraid that if I light a match all the gas will make the room explode.

I can't go in another room. This is the only room in the house I can smoke in because the kids are not allowed in my room.

Can somebody tell me if their is some kind of pill I can give my husband so he doesn't smell so bad?"

I then had to give the computer up to my husband for about 25 minutes. When I sat down to read all the scathing replies on the dangers of secondhand smoke and swamp gas, my post was gone, as was my fake account!

Cafemom doesn't allow multiple accounts, darn them.

I know the only reason it got deleted was because it got heated. There's nothing like stirring the pot and not even getting to taste the soup. :-(

Monday, August 04, 2008

One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest

Tonight my oldest child left home.

It was not a happy decision on anybody's part. It was not the way I imagined her leaving home, maybe moving into a dorm or an apartment.

She chafed at our rules, things like curfews and no boys spending the night.

When my husband caught her spooning a male friend at 2:30 in the morning, she couldn't imagine why he was upset.

I am so weary of fighting with her. I am weary of the constant pushing of the boundaries. I'm tired of being told that I am unreasonable and everybody else's parents let them do it.

It's simple to me. Follow the rules and live here. Not so simple for her it seems.

So she is gone and my chest hurts.

And that's life and it sucks.