Fart Story
I am writing this blog Sunday night, but it is a blog for Monday morning reading. Monday is my Dad's birthday, and in honor of my Dad I decided to write about farts. Yes, it's father-daughter bonding at its finest.
So if farts offend you, read no further. This is gross stuff.
Last Friday night, in fact, was a most odiferous (is that a word?) night.
Someone who was sleeping was seeping some SBD's into the air. I don't know who, but believe me, I was trying to track the culprit down.
I woke up about midnight, when my husband came to bed, and this godawful stench wacked me in the face. Could it be my sweet little SJ? Surely not. My whole room was enveloped in the aroma.
I went in the hallway to turn down the air conditioner and the whole hallway was swathed in the fog of doom.
It trailed all the way down the hall to the living room.
I went back up the hallway to A's room. It's right across from ours. A's room reeked. Was it A? Was it Boots? I couldn't tell, but my lungs were getting tight from lack of breathable air.
J's door was closed, but I considered her a possibility too, as they can leak underneath the door.
It seemed as if I should be able to see the culprit, because a stench THAT BAD should have been visually emanating in a green fog from their rear end.
If I could have found the guilty one, I would have buried them in the back yard. Nothing could smell that bad and possibly still be alive, could it?
The mystery was never solved. One thing I'm sure of, it wasn't me THIS TIME.
So if farts offend you, read no further. This is gross stuff.
Last Friday night, in fact, was a most odiferous (is that a word?) night.
Someone who was sleeping was seeping some SBD's into the air. I don't know who, but believe me, I was trying to track the culprit down.
I woke up about midnight, when my husband came to bed, and this godawful stench wacked me in the face. Could it be my sweet little SJ? Surely not. My whole room was enveloped in the aroma.
I went in the hallway to turn down the air conditioner and the whole hallway was swathed in the fog of doom.
It trailed all the way down the hall to the living room.
I went back up the hallway to A's room. It's right across from ours. A's room reeked. Was it A? Was it Boots? I couldn't tell, but my lungs were getting tight from lack of breathable air.
J's door was closed, but I considered her a possibility too, as they can leak underneath the door.
It seemed as if I should be able to see the culprit, because a stench THAT BAD should have been visually emanating in a green fog from their rear end.
If I could have found the guilty one, I would have buried them in the back yard. Nothing could smell that bad and possibly still be alive, could it?
The mystery was never solved. One thing I'm sure of, it wasn't me THIS TIME.
posted by Caro at 8:28 PM
3 Comments:
Sadly...I've heard worse...and here I thought it would be a gross story...
HerbalEssenceScentedTechie
Oh, could I tell a story here. But I won't. I think the Sportsman Guide sells gas masks on line.
the University of Minnisota did an extensive study on the matter of the odiferous body you spoke of. They found that it was sulpher that contributed to the degree of unpleasantness you have described. This is directly related to the diet one consumes. If you really want to resolve this issue you should find the foods that break down with significant amounts of sulpher
Post a Comment
<< Home