The Uncouth Fairy
A lost a tooth this weekend. She has been losing them since she was four so the tooth fairy has been faithfully visiting us for a couple of years. (except for on the nights she fell asleep - damn fairy!)
The few times that A hasn't been visited by the tooth fairy, I have gone and dug around in her covers. Then, gasp, magically the money is there and I tell her she just wasn't looking hard enough. We try very hard not to forget. Apparently my mother did this to my sister once, and she was scarred for life.
Last night, A put her tooth under her pillow and went to bed. I rocked SJ to sleep and he and I went to bed.
Around four in the morning, I heard A coughing. My first thought was that she needed to get the stuffed animals out of her bed. My second thought was, "Oh crap, the tooth fairy!"
I checked my husband's wallet and it was empty. I knew mine was also. There was a large pile of loose change that I put in a baggie. Thank goodness for loose change!
None of the lights were on and I tried to tiptoe silently down the hall. Only the floor kept creaking. Then I stumbled on the large piece of cardboard that A had put in the hallway earlier. It sounded like creak, creak, thud, "damn it", creak, creak.
I managed to make it to her door. I crept into her room and heard, "grrrrrrr." Boots didn't know who I was and it was a loud growl. He didn't sound like a terrified "shake and piss" chihuahua. He sounded serious.
There is a saying about Boston Terriers and burglars. The only way a Boston Terrier will injure a burglar is if he licks him to death. Boots hadn't heard that saying. I'm glad he didn't attack me.
That would have woken A up for sure. Then she would have realized that I was the tooth fairy or she would have thought I had snuck in to steal her money. Neither option was appealing.
"Shush, Boots, it's me," I whispered.
I felt around for the envelope with the tooth and couldn't find it so I just left the money. I have problems finding the envelope EVERY TIME. I'm beginning to wonder if she shoves the envelope in her butt crack at night.
A was so excited with the money that she ran out in the morning. There was a FIFTY CENT PIECE! There was also a state quarter and a nickel with a different design on back than the normal one.
I went in her room and couldn't find the envelope. I thought I'd look while she was at school.
Of course she found the envelope and started opening it before school. Butt crack, I'm telling you.
"Go brush your teeth," I barked. Then I snuck the tooth out and left the envelope while she brushed. I am so not slick.
Either she still believes, despite the bumbling or she knows that two dollars for an old tooth is a damn good deal. She's very shrewd, but I bet it's the former, for now.
The few times that A hasn't been visited by the tooth fairy, I have gone and dug around in her covers. Then, gasp, magically the money is there and I tell her she just wasn't looking hard enough. We try very hard not to forget. Apparently my mother did this to my sister once, and she was scarred for life.
Last night, A put her tooth under her pillow and went to bed. I rocked SJ to sleep and he and I went to bed.
Around four in the morning, I heard A coughing. My first thought was that she needed to get the stuffed animals out of her bed. My second thought was, "Oh crap, the tooth fairy!"
I checked my husband's wallet and it was empty. I knew mine was also. There was a large pile of loose change that I put in a baggie. Thank goodness for loose change!
None of the lights were on and I tried to tiptoe silently down the hall. Only the floor kept creaking. Then I stumbled on the large piece of cardboard that A had put in the hallway earlier. It sounded like creak, creak, thud, "damn it", creak, creak.
I managed to make it to her door. I crept into her room and heard, "grrrrrrr." Boots didn't know who I was and it was a loud growl. He didn't sound like a terrified "shake and piss" chihuahua. He sounded serious.
There is a saying about Boston Terriers and burglars. The only way a Boston Terrier will injure a burglar is if he licks him to death. Boots hadn't heard that saying. I'm glad he didn't attack me.
That would have woken A up for sure. Then she would have realized that I was the tooth fairy or she would have thought I had snuck in to steal her money. Neither option was appealing.
"Shush, Boots, it's me," I whispered.
I felt around for the envelope with the tooth and couldn't find it so I just left the money. I have problems finding the envelope EVERY TIME. I'm beginning to wonder if she shoves the envelope in her butt crack at night.
A was so excited with the money that she ran out in the morning. There was a FIFTY CENT PIECE! There was also a state quarter and a nickel with a different design on back than the normal one.
I went in her room and couldn't find the envelope. I thought I'd look while she was at school.
Of course she found the envelope and started opening it before school. Butt crack, I'm telling you.
"Go brush your teeth," I barked. Then I snuck the tooth out and left the envelope while she brushed. I am so not slick.
Either she still believes, despite the bumbling or she knows that two dollars for an old tooth is a damn good deal. She's very shrewd, but I bet it's the former, for now.
posted by Caro at 1:24 PM
7 Comments:
you mean the tooth fairy doesn't exist? :(
Well, Carolyn...I think maybe it's time we tell Bearette about Santa Clause....
I wonder, if I put my upper plate under my pillow tonight, will the Tooth Fairy (you) leave me $32?
My poor son still has four baby teeth--he's eight, and didn't start losing them until he was seven. I like to say he's Dentally Retarded. :-)
if i leave you my retainer, can i have some money too?
I'm sorry oldhorsetail and babelbabe. I'm fresh out of quarters!
You've been busy blogging. It's very hard to remember the tooth fairy. I hope that Jodi was paid when she woke up and not at all. That is very distressing 50 years later.
P.S. I'm glad is satisfied with two bucks!
Post a Comment
<< Home