Friday, October 07, 2005

Belly Blog

As long as I can remember, I have had a big, fat belly. Even when I lost weight, I still had this ginormous belly poking out.

I have no ass. It's flat. Why can't I have a fat ass and a flat belly. I could live with that!

Last week I was in the store carrying a sleeping SJ. A lady made a comment about how nice it would be to sleep like that and then commented that she could see I have another one on the way. (This is not the first time this has happened to me, by the way.)

I said, "No, I just carry a lot of fat on my belly."

She said, "You're just teasing, right?"

"No," I said.

She was embarrassed and didn't know how to recover. I wasn't mad. I have a FAT belly. But people get truly flustered when they make this mistake.

Should I just lie and pretend that I'm about five months along? It would be less awkward.

Remember the maternity shirts that read, "I'm not fat. I'm pregnant."

I want a shirt that says, "I'm not pregnant. I'm fat." Size XXL, please.

6 Comments:

Blogger Bearette24 said...

Once in Miami I was standing on line at the supermarket. I guess I had my hand on one hip and my tummy sticking out. The cashier was like, "When are you due?" I was so irritated...

I know what you mean, though...I'd like to move all tummy weight to my boobs...TMI, but this is the TMI SPOT!!!!

;)

9:58 PM  
Blogger nobody1001 said...

You are beautiful

11:46 PM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

Ohmigod, Carolyn, we must be related...I have had all kinds of people ask if I am pregnant "again" (with Jude, obviously not with James....I am insane but not so insane that I think i should be skinny two weeks after birth!)

I just carry my fat in the belly. Even when I was prime fighting weight and a size 8 (for someone 5'9" that's pretty good) I still had flabby belly. All the crunches and situps in the world cannot get rid of it. I might just follow my Perfect SIL's example and get a tummy tuck with all my disposable income : )

and we are still beautiful : )

6:36 AM  
Blogger Mad Rabbit said...

Do you have a belly? I never noticed. I have the same belly but at 60 people realize that I am just fat. What do you want with a fat dierrier, I've got that too. Not so flattering I just look like a barrel. Just think of yourself as a tire that is only flat on one side. Bwaaahhhaaaa

9:52 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

I rigidly follow your advice on women that look pregnant, Babelbabe. I only assume a woman is pregnant if I see a baby actually emerging from her body.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

That's the way to do it ;)

7:01 PM  

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