Wednesday, October 19, 2005

It Was Better When He Ate It

You have all read about Boots, my marvelous poop-eating dog. I was worried that when we brought home Mandy, he would eat her poop also.

Not only is he not eating her poop, he has quit consuming his own poop. He appears to be having a "who can defecate the most" contest. Our back yard is a veritable mine field of dog shit. Goody. I have to clean both pairs of SJ's shoes tonight as they are candy coated.

I have enough chores so I will have to comandeer J to pick up the yard. First I will tell her. She will bitch and moan, then procrastinate. Then I will nag for three hours. Finally I will yell, "GET OUT THERE THIS MINUTE!" Then she will stomp out there, do a half-assed job and make me wish I'd done it my own friggin' self.

Apparently this is Mother Nature's way of preparing me to push her from the nest. That Mother Nature knows what she's doing.
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I won't go into the long, boring tale of the driver who cut me off today. I do have one question. Is it just California drivers that are such jerks? If so, no wonder everybody hates us.
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I cleaned my bathroom today, a momentous occasion indeed. Babelbabe was going to send her Oompah Loompahs to help me, but they got stopped at the airport on account of their orange faces and big pants. Profiling, yeesh!
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A wants to go to her school's book fair tomorrow. I must have heard the words book fair at least thirty times tonight, maybe more.

I also have a parent/teacher conference tomorrow. Lord, give me strength.
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There was more stuff to blog about but I can't remember now because SJ is screaming and I can't hear myself think. Was that a run on sentence? Quick somebody call the grammar police. Just don't call the library policeman. (Only Stephen King fans will get that last one.)

9 Comments:

Blogger Bearette24 said...

Huh...what Stephen King book is that from? I stopped reading him after Rose Madder. I do re-read The Stand from time to time. I love that book.

8:07 PM  
Blogger CheerleadingTechie said...

I tell you what, next time I come to your house, I will poop-scoop the yard... I do it enough at work... hehe, I'm use to it.

11:20 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

My husband is actually the King fan and he couldn't remember which book. He named three different options. The only King book I liked was Delores Clairborne. The rest are too dark. The library policeman didn't really work for the library. He was a creepy guy who told a little boy that since his books were overdue, he had to be "punished." It was a really odd book. I guess that goes without saying considering the author.

7:20 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

The Californian who cut you off? Give 'em a break. I've found that Californians are quite nice about letting other drivers sift into the adjoining lane -- unlike us Oregonians, who never give an inch. Maybe the driver just assumed you knew the difference. And maybe I don't know crap about it.

8:59 AM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

lets talk about east coast drivers...

pittsburghers (not east coast, despite their delusions ) are just slow and don't use turn signals. now, jersey and ny - crazy. even after they got rid if the rotaries... i grew up in nj and if you can survive driving there, you can drive anywhere.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

I drove in Maine two summers ago and they were sooooo slooooow. I guess I CAN give California drivers that at least they are trying to get somewhere in a timely manner.

9:41 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

BTW, what's a rotary?

9:42 AM  
Blogger Mad Rabbit said...

I'd love to be a fly on the wall at that conference with the teacher. If it is A's teacher I can only imagine what you will hear. If it's any comfort to you I will tell you about a conference I had with her fathers teacher at the same age. When I sat down for the conference the teacher said "before we get to his scholastic abilities I would like to propose a deal. I won't repeat what he says about home if you do not repeat what he says about school."
I never had the guts to even ask what she meant. So I think you should make him go to the parent teacher conference.

3:24 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

They have lots of rotaries in New Hampshire and some in Massachusetts, where I grew up. It's really just a traffic circle - car A goes in, goes around a circle, gets off at some point, and car B does the same thing. It's a little circle of turning cars with different exits on it.

2:42 PM  

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