Monday, October 24, 2005

Visiting Hooterville

This weekend, the family and I went down to visit both sets of parents in Podunk, CA. Both sets of parents live in Podunk. Many people would think this is an advantage as it is one-stop visiting. It isn't. Both sets of grandparents want extended visiting time with the grandchildren and there isn't enough time in the weekend for that to happen. I think that each set of grandparents secretly keeps little score cards in their nightstands where they mark down who got the most time with the kids.

It is much nicer when family comes to our house to visit. Not only do we not have to take our children on a four hour drive, but we get to spend the whole weekend with whichever set of parents comes to visit us. The visiting is of a much better quality.

Podunk, CA is where I spent my teen years. I spent those years fantasizing about leaving Podunk and moving to the "Big City." Well, we don't live in a big city, but we're very happy with our town of choice.

As we drove to Podunk, all the radio stations we enjoy began to dissapear. Soon our choices became Spanish music or country music. Yuck. I found one "soft rock" station. The teens in Podunk must feel like they are starring in their own movie version of "Footloose."

My nephew "N" was having a birthday party Saturday. I didn't know where it was so I followed behind my mother in her Crown Victoria granny car. We were going on back roads where the speed limit is 55, but most people go 65.

My mother drives very SLOOOOOOWLY. Snails were literally passing us up. First she managed to get up to 42 MPH. Then the speedometer went to 45 - 48 - 52 - 54. Hope blossomed in my breast. Was she going to hit the speed limit at least? Then the speedometer went 52 -50 - 48. We were driving a zippity doo dah 48 miles an hour in a 55 zone. Whoopee! People were tailgating and flying around us as soon as they got the chance. When we turned left, you could almost see their mouths forming the words, "Thank God." The people that had to turn left behind us were mouthing, "OH shit!" I know I would have been anyway. Oh wait, I was!

When we got to the birthday party, the theme was Sponge Bob. There was a Sponge Bob bounce house, Sponge Bob bean bag toss, Sponge Bob pinata...The only way it could have been more Sponge Bob would have been if it were being held under the ocean.

My sister went to get the cake during the party, and - gasp - the cake wasn't decorated with Sponge Bob. It was supposed to be, but the store messed up and put on Robots instead. They offered her the cake for half price if she would take it with the Robot theme. She called "N" on her cell phone and he was adamant on Sponge Bob.

There was a Sponge Bob figurine candle right at the bakery counter for four dollars. I would have put the candle on the Robots cake and told my kid that it was Sponge Bob in future land. Then my kid would have been in therapy for the next five years thus totally cancelling out any savings on the cake.

My sister, however, actually gives her kids choices. My choices are more along the lines of, "Are you going to eat your dinner that you hate right now or are you going to eat it later when it's cold?" Like I said, therapy.

We left before the cake was cut so I'm not even sure if they got the flavor right. (He wanted banana.)

I then hauled the kids to my husband's parents house. They just purchased a 2006 kick ass fifth wheel and his Dad wanted to take them camping at the local mud puddle, er lake. He could have taken them to the local landfill with that camper and they would have been thrilled.

Before I joined them, I had a meal with my mother-in-law and J of assorted Thai food entrees. I love Thai food. It's something I never would have tried before I met my husband. He broadened my food horizons. Other parts have broadened also such as my ass, my thighs, my...name it and it has broadened!

I missed all the fun camping stuff like chasing SJ everywhere and keeping him from falling in the fire. I arrived in time to put him to bed. Since I was ready for bed myself, it worked out quite nicely.

We headed home on Sunday by noon as I had laundry up the ying as usual. Also, all that visiting makes me just plain tired. Okay folks, it's your turn to come this way!

8 Comments:

Blogger Gina said...

We had to go to a birthday party this weekend too, at a place that's like Chuck E. Cheese but with outdoor stuff too. Ted always likes these parties, but I'm thankful that he has no desire to spend his own birthdays at places like this. So EXHAUSTING.

I've never known a kid who'd request banana cake.

7:15 AM  
Blogger WORKINGGIRL55 said...

What a great blog today. Even though I am the butt of the Grannymobile jokes, it is hysterical. I have actually had 2 speeding tickets in twenty-four years. Sorry if I whined about the visiting.

8:08 AM  
Blogger Bearette said...

I think my mother is going to keep score cards, too. She's already said to me that she wants "equal time." Bear in mind that I have no kids and am not even pregnant.

With her other 5 grandchildren (my sister's kids and brother's kids), she definitely sees them more than the other sets of parents. With mine (as yet unborn), there's some doubt because I'm in NY, not Massachusetts.

8:18 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

You didn't whine nobody1001.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

Bearette, I told my mother that I knew I was merely the vessel for my grandkids. She denied it, of course. But sometimes you gotta wonder. LOL

9:04 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Sometimes, time without SJ = camping without mosquitoes.

9:27 AM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

you make me laugh out loud, the whole thing with the cake and the therapy.

we are apparently on the same parenting page.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Bearette said...

Oh, I just realized who nobody1001 was! Hi :)

9:18 AM  

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