Little Man's First Real Haircut

"SJ" has needed a haircut for some time now. I have been avoiding taking him to the barber because I assumed it would be unsuccessful. I had visions of him writhing Linda Blair-like in the chair before the barber could even get a chance to trim his mane.

I've tried to trim it twice at home with crappy less than optimal results. It was longer on one spot than the other in back and shaped strangely. It has also been getting in his eyes.

I asked "SJ's" speech therapist for a reccomendation and she thought I should try Joe the Barber. She said he had a one-chair barber shop so it would be less distracting.

I called Joe and he asked what time of day was best for "SJ", thus demonstrating his wisdom. The appointment was made for nine o' clock Saturday morning.

I got out of the house late Saturday and broke a few speed limit laws. The nice officer sitting by the side of the road must have had faster fish to fry than me, because I lucked out speeding past him and not getting pulled over. Of course, everyone else was going the same speed so maybe he was busy playing "eenie meanie mynee moe." (Okay, how do you spell mynee?)

We made it to the barber. He still had a customer in his chair. Phew.

This was absolutely, positively a man's hangout!

There was a bookshelf in one corner with an eclectic collection of man stuff. There was a Billy Bass singing fish, a box of "Spotted-Owl Helper", an alligator skull, some postage scales and strange things galore. There was also a lone Happy Meal style Barbie on the shelf. She looked as out of place as I did. The barber shop itself was decorated with San Francisco 49er's memorabilia, a Three Stooges Poster and some photos of Joe's grandkids. The vinyl chairs were so old, a few of them had permanent butt prints. I am NOT making that up. In the back, a door was open to a small bathroom. The seat was UP, probably permanently and it looked like the toilet was unfamiliar with that common household element known as bleach.

"SJ" and I waited for his turn. I was glad that somebody was still in the chair. My husband was about ten minutes behind me in the rental car. (We had to return it that morning.)

My husband showed up just in time with the camera and the all-important cash. This was not a high-tech credit card accepting place.

Joe tried to put "SJ" on a board that would boost him up. "SJ" yelled, "NO!"

Rather than wrestle him, Joe had him sit on his father's lap.

Then I saw something I'd never seen. This man's hands were flying through the air. Snip, snip, duck, snip, snip! It was amazing. "SJ" was not holding still, but the barber was ducking in here and ducking in there and getting hair off at the speed of light.

Partway through the haircut, he pulled out the big guns. He got Billy Bass off his shelf, plugged it in and put it on the TV in front of the chair. Then I pushed the button again and again and again to keep "SJ" looking at the bass. By the time we were done, I think everyone was tired of hearing that fish sing - everyone but SJ anyway.

Joe did a meticulous job. When he was done, there was a little boy sitting in that chair. He looked so grown up, I wanted to cry. He also looked grateful to have his bangs out of his eyes.

Joe the Barber was great, but I told my husband he gets to go alone with "SJ" next time. The Barber Shop is for men and I felt a bit awkward entering its hallowed walls.

For anyone interested in pics, they are below.