Thursday, December 15, 2005

Thank You

Thank you everybody for the get well wishes. They must have worked. My temperature is a healthy (for me) ninety-seven degrees. My back is aching like crazy, but I can still get stuff done and that's what counts.
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Today I utterly stuck my foot in my mouth. In fact, I suffer from chronic foot in mouth disease.

I called the person on the phone who I had "footed" in front of within half an hour and left a message. Basically I said, "You know, when I said (x) it came out wrong. I was trying to say (y). Things come out wrong a lot for me. Maybe this is why my son is delaying his speech, because he doesn't want to be an ass like his mother. (Okay, I didn't say ass, but that was the gist of the message.)

I swear that I have Tourette's of the mouth. All the time, strange crap just flies out of me. People will be talking with me and then look at me like, "Up until now, I thought you were a rational human."

As the utterances are flying out my mouth, I am desperately trying to hit rewind, but it is too late.

If Pfizer could make a pill for foot in mouth disease, I know my HMO wouldn't cover it, but I would gladly pay full price.

I don't know what is worse, knowing that you have foot in mouth or not knowing. If you know, you're mortified. If you don't know, you can't figure out why nobody wants to hang with you.

Maybe Santa will bring me a zipper for my mouth.
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Our tree is decorated. I wanted to post a picture, but my camera is on the fritz. The top four feet are lovely. The bottom four feet have been plucked clean by SJ, the ornament slinging champion of the world. Do they have that event in the Olympics? They oughtta.

I had a meeting today with a representative from the Department of Education. When SJ starts preschool, they send a bus to the house to pick him up and drop him off.

Ha ha, sure. The best way to terrify my kid would be to plop him on a bus of strangers and send him off. Have a good day, sweetie!

His Mommy can drive him. That is just fine.

3 Comments:

Blogger BabelBabe said...

me too with the foot-in-mouth thing. I just posted about a stupid thing I said TO MY BOSS. If you discover the drug to fix it, let me know and maybe we can bulk-order some and get a discount.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

C, I never thought you had foot in the mouth disease. Maybe the other person was overly sensitive?

5:48 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

No, I can just look at what I write and delete if if I think it is offensive. However, once something has flown out of my big trap, it is too late.

7:38 PM  

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