Sunday, January 08, 2006

Not A Pity Party

So, Old Hoss asked how my husband felt about the fact that I let myself go. Now, I feel like I have to explain myself, thus boring you all to sleep in the process. While you are yawning, don't forget that this is ALL Old Hoss's fault. Hee hee

First of all, I am not trying to have a pity party, just state the facts.

I'll start with the positive which is my husband loves me and never nags me no matter my size. I feel the same about him. He goes up and down also. We are, neither of us, svelte.

I had already put on some excess weight when I met my husband. I also had an eating disorder which I don't have anymore BUT it also helped keep the weight down.

We moved to San Jose, just the three of us. (husband, myself and J.) I gained more weight. Husband and I ate out a lot and enjoyed it. I gained more weight.

For a short time, I lost some. I was attending community college, which I loved and volunteering one day a week at J's school.

Then my biological clock began ticking, because at the age of 28, I was sure I was ancient. Yeesh.

We conceived A. I became very sick and took a semester off college, which became seven years.

When A was two months old, we left San Jose. Houses started at half a mil, so we had to leave the city we loved.

We moved to where we live now and purchased a home. A new baby and a new home are good things but they bring a whole new set of stresses. I was all alone with no friends and a new baby. Somebody pass the chocolate.

Anyway, the weight has crept on over the years until I barely recognize this jowly woman looking back from the mirror.

Really, it would be great to buy clothing that wasn't made by the same people that design tents for the circus.

It's paralyzing even to figure out where to start with losing fifty pounds. Really, chocolate is my drug. I probably spend as much on it as other junkies spend on their illegal drugs.

And I have done this ALL BY MYSELF. It's my own fault. I'm not crying tears in my beer, er hot chocolate. It's a lot more fun to poke fun at myself.

I make fun of everybody else. Why should I be immune?

Now my husband is going to take me out to a "day after the anniversary" brunch. See how I am.


Blogger BabelBabe said...

carolyn - we've all been here - me very much so currently. and i can't stop - i had two chocolate bars for dinner last night. i am just commiserating...

10:42 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Sounds like a well balanced meal to me.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

And thank you for commiserating with me, I appreciate it.

11:37 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Gee, Carolyn, I hope you don't think I was trying to insult anybody. I am sometimes more curious than is curious. Anyway, my motto always is "So it goes" (whatever will be, will be, and keep smiling).


3:40 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

You didn't insult me. I just feel compelled to explain myself way more than most people do.

You make me laugh, but you don't insult me.

4:56 PM  

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