Friday, January 20, 2006

Whole Lotta Nothing Going On

Tonight I am in an excellent mood so, if I bitch, I'm just doing it for the heck of it. Sometimes I just like to bitch; doesn't everyone?

Tonight, at dinner, "A" was telling me that she had a friend at school who went to "George Washington DC." That was good for a chuckle.

My oldest daughter has two friends over and they were talking at dinner about the last time they moved and how hard it was to make friends. I went to four different schools in the sixth grade so I can relate to that.

Due to the fact that I have a loud mouth and no tact, I have always had a bit of trouble making friends. I'm not a mean person - just the sober equivalent of the drunk guy wearing the lamp shade.

My school day woes started in kindergarten. When kindergarten began, everybody paired up two by two like little ark animals. I paired up with Marsha Inman, my first real friend.

She moved and that was the end of best friendom. I never had a best friend again until junior high. I would hang on the fringe of other friend couples, but three was always a crowd.

If somebody's friend was sick, they would hang out with me that day. I was substitute friend. I was the booty call friend of elementary school. As soon as a person's friend came back, I was on the fringes again.

Is it any wonder I like to read so much?

"A" also brought back some school memories today talking about the rope. Does anybody remember the rope?

Our rope hung from the ceiling in the cafeteria/gym. Every now and then the gym teacher challenged us to climb it. I was already blessed with excessive height blended with puny arm strength. I NEVER made it up the effin' rope. That rope mocked me.

When young boys shimmied up the rope to the top, I was so envious. Why couldn't I climb the rope? I hated AND STILL HATE the rope. "A" can't climb it either. I told her she is carrying on a proud family tradition.

Sometimes it feels like those psycho P.E. teachers want you to fail.

"Now Little Jimmy, Let's see if you can do the most freaking impossible physical task there is. Don't forget to pick your self-esteem off the floor on the way out."

Ah, school days - great times, huh?
My next long-winded bitchy comments involve pedestrians.

Here's the deal.

When I am a pedestrian, I know I have the right of way BUT I always make sure to check that the car in the parking lot will stop before I fling myself in front of it. AND if they decide to stop, I walk quickly and get the hell out of the way. Maybe I am anal, but I consider this common courtesy.

If I am the driver, I try to stop for all the pedestrians. Sometimes, if I'm distracted by say, flying juice boxes, I might not see the pedestrian just exiting the grocery store.

Inevitably, this is the pedestrian that hurls out in front of me and then glares because I didn't stop quickly enough to suit them. Let me state that I have never even come close to hitting somebody. Some people just have a cork up their ass and like to glare.

The other kind of pedestrians I hate are the ones that don't even TRY to hurry. In fact, they walk slowly ON PURPOSE. I am talking about able-bodied young people sauntering into the store while I am waiting, gnashing my teeth.

I hope next time one of those people is in the hospital, waiting for a brain transplant, the doctor is late because he's waiting for some damn pedestrians to move out of his way.

Come on people, hurry up!

Okay, enough bitching. I can bitch more later. I bet everyone can hardly wait.


Blogger Lisa said...

I never moved around as a kid but I was a bully and wasn't exactly popular . The worst I find is a lot of the teens think they own the road and will actually walk on the road in your way as if you are supposed to go around them. My hubby speeds up and lays on the horn and scares the life out of them !!!

10:48 PM  
Blogger blackbird said...

here in Tuvalu, pedestrians do not have the right of way.
if one is courteous, one may stop and allow them to pass.
what I love (sarcasm being pointed out here as you don't know me) are the people who walk, slowly, ambling, directly in front of my vehicle and then stay there to answer the phone, or look for their keys or just saunter along to their car in the middle of the parking lot.
I love those people so much that I want to kiss them with my bumper.

5:34 AM  
Blogger CheerleadingTechie said...

Ahhh, the rope.......I liked the rope... and was darn good too...sorry...

6:37 AM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Booty call friend...hehe. i hated the machiavellian system of best friendships in school. if you were between BFs, it sucked.

BTW, can you take this test? i want to know what type you are.

7:28 AM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

I HATED school. right up through high school. it wasn't till college that i found out I was actually a cool person who was fun to be around (unless all my friedns now are lying to me).

12:21 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Here you go Bearette,

Your Type is
Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Strength of the preferences %
67 50 50 33

ISTJ type description by D.Keirsey
ISTJ type description by J. Butt

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:
distinctively expressed introvert

moderately expressed sensing personality

moderately expressed thinking personality

moderately expressed judging personality

1:02 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Lisa, I'd love to ride in the car with your husband. He sounds like he does what I'd love to do, but don't dare.

Blackbird, I laughed like a hyena when I read the expression "kiss them with my bumper."

Techie, bite me.

Babelbabe, I was so scarred from school that I took forever to go to college. Loved it and want to finish, but am waiting for kids to start school.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Huh. I'm an ENFP.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

It was hard to answer the questions on the test. On most of them, I need a "depends" answer. I'm not a yes only - no only type of person.

3:55 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Ooh, Bearette, I just went back and got it. According to the test, we are complete opposites. Funny.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

"I'm not a mean person - just the sober equivalent of the drunk guy wearing the lamp shade."

Ohhh this is perfect! You're so funny!

8:23 PM  
Blogger CheerleadingTechie said...

Your Type is
Extroverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving

8:48 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Well Techie,

We have one trait in common. (thinking) I thought you were an introvert. Guess I am wrong.

There must be some more introvert bloggers out there.

3:28 PM  
Blogger nobody1001 said...

Well, your humor in school might not have been appreciated but it sure is now. I was not popular in grammar school either. We had no rope but the P.E. teacher said we all had to do one pull-up. It didn't matter that I was good at calistenics and very agile. I finally was able to do one pull up and passed P.E. Upper body strenth is not our lot in life.

As far as the pedestrians, people keep talking about our overweight children. Excuse me for saying this but if some of those big-assed teen girls would walk a little faster, they might not be lard-assed.

9:00 AM  

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