Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Cleaning A's Dungeon

It was impossible to walk across A's floor so I cleaned her and SJ's dungeon today while she was at school. It was at the point where I was doing the toy shuffle. You all know that one. You realize that you are stepping on something hard and plastic. If you continue putting your weight down, you might break it and/or drive pointed shards of plastic in your feet.

So you try to slide your foot off the toy and you kind of slip, and hopefully you don't fall on your ass, thus inserting the plastic shards in that particular body part. (run-on sentence, yeah!)

Does anybody remember the Seinfeld episode with ("It was a one in a million chance, doc!")?

I am particularly tired of picking up Legos and her Tinkertoyosauras. She knows where it goes, but can't be bothered. Making a mess is much more fun than picking up. Everybody knows that.

While I was cleaning her room, Mandy jumped on her bed and got comfortable. I didn't want Mandy on the bed so I told her to get off.

She burrowed in deeper like the stubborn little beast that she is.

She also assumed her "pose". I hate the pose. It is the, "You are screwed no matter how you do this, because I am going to pee all over the place," pose.

I very gently said, "Mandy get off the bed."

I tip toed up to her. It's like approaching a bomb that is about to go off. You very gently approach it with bated breath trying carefully not to set it off.

"No, Lenny, I said the red wire. The red wire! NOOOOOOO!"

That's right. I didn't tip toe gently enough or I looked at her cross-eyed or I breathed too loudly or something.

One squirting dog + one mattress pad + one recently changed set of sheets + one quilt = THREE FREAKING LOADS OF LAUNDRY!

Stinking damn dog.

My husband said it should have been four loads - the first load consisting of dog only.
I have tried three new gluten-free, casein-free recipes this week.

The chocolate cake was too dry, but edible.
The pancakes looked like crepes, but were delicious.
The chicken fingers tonight were slightly odd.

The worse thing is that I had recently decided to go mostly vegetarian. Only, most people with dairy issues have soy issues. All those delcious main dishes with tofu in them...out the window they went.

But I still haven't given up. I'm sure I can modify some of them to fit our needs.
Remember the church I mentioned that puts up the weekly signs?

Well, last week they put up something about God's game plan. Somebody vandalized the sign and made it God's gae plan.

This week's sign reads, "Thou is responsible for thy own attitude."

Don't mess with the sign, man.
Here is the gross fact for the day, once again verbatim.

"Scientists at the University of Tokyo plucked the wings off of a bunch of roaches, inserted little electrodes in their antennae, and stuck on tiny backpacks full of electric circuits and batteries. They discovered that they could then steer the bugs like a car. Hang a left. Turn right. Stop. Go. The point? They hope to use roaches in rescue work, such as in collapsed buildings, by mounting tiny cameras on their backs."

This year, my son got an electronic car for Christmas. Next year, he is so getting a roach.


Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Don't you just hate it when the chicken fingers look like thumbs?

A roach for Christmas. That is so cool. He'll be the only one in the neighborhood with such a great gift.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous mad rabbit said...

Patches is trying to send him a sewer rat for his birthday.. she keeps trying to bring them in for us to enjoy.....but she will only bring them in when the window is open, never thru the cat door.

9:38 AM  
Blogger nobody1001 said...

Let me know if you come up with any tasty recipes. I have rice flour and it has many less carbs and calories. I would love to use it up.

11:55 AM  
Blogger mwchels10 said...

hey whats^ do you know who this is??? well if u dont its chels wow it 12:07 i only went to skol till 3rd periodcause i got sick im losin my voice and when my dad came to pick me up they couldnt find me cause they forgot i couldnt do p.e and i have to go to a different class cause i cant do p.e till the febuary 28 because i spraind my wrist so ya..... i got my high skol registeration and im goin to summer skol to take health and drivers ed. wow me driving lol.... so then i can take advanced band and spanish! well i might take german i cant decide!!! wow this post was really random *~*chelsea*~*

12:19 PM  
Blogger CheerleadingTechie said...

Wow, if you can be on the computer you should SO totally be at school! I have been sick for a week and I didn't stay home. And, maybe you should take ENGLISH is summer school....

Mad Rabbit, maybe Patches likes a challenge. What fun would it be if she just brought it in through the cat door? C'mon now! haha.

12:44 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Hey Chels! Nice to see you.

Get well soon.

1:26 PM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

"Dude, I'm so getting a ROACH."
This reminds me of those dorky Dell computer commercials : )

He will think you are the coolest mom on earth. And at least you won't have to worry about stepping on one and driving shards of....ewwwwwww. Too disgusting to even finish that thought.

1:55 PM  
Blogger mwchels10 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:47 PM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

lol don't mess with the sign,heeheeheeheeheehee

3:31 PM  
Blogger mwchels10 said...

well my sister got mad cause i was right and she knew it so some how she must have sined on as me and deleted it lol.....

6:51 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Oh man I should send a pic of my middle girls room . This is after storing stuff away . My hub an I did decide to get rid of a lot of it or else we will blow it all up . I was here earlier and didn't have time to post and I was laughing about the dog pee thing because of our little shitzu cross peeing machine who has peed on our bed too many times . I got of the computer and stepped in dog pee . I feel your pain !!!

11:46 PM  

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