Saturday, February 11, 2006

Someone Pass The Damn Milk

I want a glass of milk, not almond milk, not rice milk, but milk from a real freaking cow. I might have to kill somebody if this feeling doesn't pass soon.
I've blogged before about razors and the price of blades. (Ouch) First there was one blade, then two blades, then three, then four. When would the insanity stop? Now there is a five blade razor, count them five! has a battery, so the handle will vibrate.

Perhaps this is to encourage the ladies to shave their nether regions!

My husband said if the blade count gets any higher, people will start carrying lawn mowers around. He may have something there.
Today I made waffles using tapioca and rice flour. It was more labor intensive than normal waffles. The egg whites had to be beaten until stiff, and then folded into the batter.

When it was time to grease the waffle iron, I couldn't use my butter-flavored Pam. I pulled out my spray-pump bottle of Canola oil that I purchased from Pampered Chef. I reccomend all products from Pampered Chef except this particular damn bottle.

It doesn't spray enough oil. Waffle number one was glued to the waffle maker. Small children were swarming around the kitchen and biting my ankles, as they were hungry NOW.

I was scraping the waffle bits out of the iron, stressing out and screeching. It was another quality Saturday morning in our household.

"A", my picky eater, ate her waffle. You could have lifted my jaw off the floor.

I always said when I grew up, that I would not force my kids to eat foods they didn't like.

"A" is the exception to this rule. She hates EVERYTHING. I can make something she liked the week before and she hates it.

I have resorted to forcing her to eat it anyway. I am not a short order cook, darn it.

Stress, it's what's for dinner.
Da da da dum. Time for another gross fact.

Queen Isabella, the one who launched Christopher Columbus to the New World, only took two baths in her entire life.

Have you ever smelled the trash can during the summer when some past its prime chicken has been thrown in it? I bet she smelled worse than that.


Blogger Bearette24 said...

maybe she sneaked extra baths on the sly?

7:59 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Sounds like awfully good waffles -- or did any more ever get cooked?

10:25 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

I can't even imagine that...ICK!
How could she stand herself!?

We threw out our maker because no matter what we did,the stupid thing would just not release our food.

1:47 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

probably everybody smelled bad and eventually they couldn't smell it anymore.

1:52 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

I think perfume was invented to cover the smell. Then they all smelled like freshly fertilized flower.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

Milk..chocolate milk..yummy....sometimes i get a jones so badly for some...and I only open up my fridge to see almond milk smiling sarcastically back....but i do sneak in some when i go to my mom's, behind the kitchen door, I slurp it down so fast like a junkie and remove all evidence....

5:57 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...


You're funny.

7:38 AM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

likewise...i almost have to gag myself in order not to laugh out loud in the office, when i read ur posts, and risk looking like more of a nut than they already think i am...

8:40 AM  
Anonymous mad rabbit said...

When they had fancy dress balls in the olden days they used to put a dollop of scented wax atop their powdered wigs. Then as the evening wore on and they began to prespire the wax would melt and the scent would be unleashed. GROOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

10:42 AM  

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