Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Title Goes Here

My old high-school chum "S" called again today. She had called and left a message Sunday and Monday and today. One message isn't enough for her. She has to call and annoy the crap out of me until I call her back.

Then she talks at least an hour with me about absolutely nothing of importance. Today the phone call was at least an hour and twenty minutes.

If I talk to her just one hour, once a week, that is 48 hours a year wasted. This is time I could better spend trimming my nose hairs or cleaning the gunk out from under my toe nails.

I don't dislike her, but thirty minutes once a month is more than enough time to spend talking with her, as all our phone conversations have a sameness about them.
My fifteen-year old daughter took the English portion of the high school exit exam today. One of the questions was:

The tree branch ________________.
a. break
b. broked
c. broke
d. breaked

Only in California...
SJ was watching the Teletubbies today and he laughed. Nobody was watching it with him telling him when to laugh. He did it all on his own.

I made him a chocolate cake with rice flour and he ate a huge piece. He hasn't once acted deprived or unhappy with his diet.

I am probably gaining weight on the diet and need to start counting calories. If Americans get much fatter, they are going to push the Earth out of orbit.
There was a sign near the high school today. It was a help wanted advertisement for sign twirlers.

You've all seen those right? It's the person advertising the new housing complex or car wash, standing on the corner and twirling a sign.

The ad stated, "Easy work. Pay starts at nine dollars an hour."

Easy work, bwahahahahahahaha. I would last like ten minutes before that sign started burning my arms. At nine dollars an hour, what would I make for ten minutes of work anyway? I'll have one of those high schoolers who manages to pass the math portion of the high school exit exam figure it out for me. Snort.
I need a haircut BADLY and have needed it since at least October. Soon, crazed hairdressers will be chasing me down the street with their scissors snapping together.
The gross fact for the day is now coming. I am typing this verbatim from my "Oh Yuck Encyclopedia".

"Today, orangutans are found only in the lowland jungles of Borneo and north Sumatra. But once, when they were more far-flung, their lips were considered a delicacy in Vietnam."

Hey, remember Clyde in "Every Which Way But Loose"? Didn't Clint Eastwood send him to a nice sanctuary in Vietnam? Just kidding.


Blogger CheerleadingTechie said...

Re: The Exit Exam, if only everyone knew how easy it was. They would then understand why if you don't pass, you really shouldn't graduate.

Re: Talking to "S"... not that I doubt your mathematical ability... but where did you get 208 out of one hour a week every week in the year? That's 4:1 which is 4x12, which is 48...

Re: SJ's diet, can I live with you and be on his diet? I want some chocolate cake...

10:22 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

The chocolate cake was rather dry. But I will keep trying until I improve it. I think maybe some pudding made with chocolate rice milk sandwiched between two layers would do it.

You're right on the math. I was thinking four hours a week times fifty - two weeks. (vs. four hours A MONTH) Duh! I am probably too stupid to pass the exit exam myself. I will go back and fix my math.

10:41 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

math is useless (mostly)

6:37 AM  
Blogger CheerleadingTechie said...

:-O Math isn't usless....

**Mathematics Major**


6:51 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

Haa,I love your posts!

I have a friend like that.
All she wants to talk about for HOURS at a time,every day of the week,is how much her life sucks.
Good times...good times.

10:41 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

"The tree branch broked the back of the mountain." That's the same test they had in my high school.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous mad rabbit said...

Oh man I thought it was breaked. THats what A used to say. Gamma I breaked it.
You should make a deal with S. If she will only call once a month you will try to be enthusiastic about her calls. Naah no use lying to her.

11:53 AM  
Blogger nobody1001 said...

I gave a test for office personnel.
One of the fillins was have______.
went or gone. Most people chose went. I can't believe that people get out of high school much less grammar school without a basic command of good English. We won't even get into the three question math quiz (I even let them use a calculator.

1:23 PM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

Love ur "OH Yuck Encyclopedia" facts..!!!

As for haircuts..I'm not walking near any salons or barbers, in fear of getting gang banged...

As for the cake..I've had in my pantry for like 2 months this mix I bought "Gluten Free Pantry Chocolate Truffle Brownie Mix"..Everyone says it's very very good..and comes out very moist if u add a bit of Almond Milk...I havent made it..cuz now Miss C doesnt eat cake...go figure...

4:22 PM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

As for math...
It comes in very handy when i need to add up how many worthless pairs of shoes I purchased and how many aspirins I'll have to take when the credit bill comes strolling along...

4:24 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

You crack me up !!! We need to exchange recipes .

5:18 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Mary - gangbanged. ha ha

I don't have many pairs of shoes. I probably don't deserve to be called a woman.

Lisa - I would love to swap recipes, but I'm not sure many of mine are swappable yet.

7:17 PM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

carolyn, you need to break up with S. And then you'll have time to trim not only your nose hairs but your hair.

1:58 PM  

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