Title Goes Here

My old high-school chum "S" called again today. She had called and left a message Sunday and Monday and today. One message isn't enough for her. She has to call and annoy the crap out of me until I call her back.

Then she talks at least an hour with me about absolutely nothing of importance. Today the phone call was at least an hour and twenty minutes.

If I talk to her just one hour, once a week, that is 48 hours a year wasted. This is time I could better spend trimming my nose hairs or cleaning the gunk out from under my toe nails.

I don't dislike her, but thirty minutes once a month is more than enough time to spend talking with her, as all our phone conversations have a sameness about them.
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My fifteen-year old daughter took the English portion of the high school exit exam today. One of the questions was:

The tree branch ________________.
a. break
b. broked
c. broke
d. breaked

Only in California...
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SJ was watching the Teletubbies today and he laughed. Nobody was watching it with him telling him when to laugh. He did it all on his own.

I made him a chocolate cake with rice flour and he ate a huge piece. He hasn't once acted deprived or unhappy with his diet.

I am probably gaining weight on the diet and need to start counting calories. If Americans get much fatter, they are going to push the Earth out of orbit.
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There was a sign near the high school today. It was a help wanted advertisement for sign twirlers.

You've all seen those right? It's the person advertising the new housing complex or car wash, standing on the corner and twirling a sign.

The ad stated, "Easy work. Pay starts at nine dollars an hour."

Easy work, bwahahahahahahaha. I would last like ten minutes before that sign started burning my arms. At nine dollars an hour, what would I make for ten minutes of work anyway? I'll have one of those high schoolers who manages to pass the math portion of the high school exit exam figure it out for me. Snort.
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I need a haircut BADLY and have needed it since at least October. Soon, crazed hairdressers will be chasing me down the street with their scissors snapping together.
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The gross fact for the day is now coming. I am typing this verbatim from my "Oh Yuck Encyclopedia".

"Today, orangutans are found only in the lowland jungles of Borneo and north Sumatra. But once, when they were more far-flung, their lips were considered a delicacy in Vietnam."

Hey, remember Clyde in "Every Which Way But Loose"? Didn't Clint Eastwood send him to a nice sanctuary in Vietnam? Just kidding.