Monday, April 24, 2006

File It Under "W" for "What the Heck Was I Thinking"

I made attempts to blog this morning, but kept losing my blogger connection. Blog it all anyway.

My youngest daughter has attended many birthday parties, most of them at gyms and bouncetown-type places.

I wanted to have a birthday party at home, an old-fashioned party. I thought this was a good idea. Mwahahahahahahahaha.

The high-pitched squeals began as soon as the guests arrived. A small tribe of children was running around the house like the kindergarteners in "Reecess."

I had a painting project for them. They painted paper mache boxes to take home. I had stickers for them to put on the boxes when they dried. When the time came to finish the boxes, they were totally uninterested.

There were a few normal kid things I had to deal with.

Everybody got three swings at the pinata. There were arguments about who was where in line and who got more swings. There were also arguments about who got more candy. I gave them more candy in the house. Some kids were still shy so I made the others ante up.

SJ has a mini trampoline. There were fights about that. I began setting the oven timer for two minute intervals. When the two minutes were up, it was the next person's turn.

Rachel and Anabella fought over who got to help open presents. I made them take turns.

At the end of the party, they were fighting over the pinata rope. I cut it into pieces so everybody could have some. The rope was the hit of the party. It was like when you buy your kid a gift and they play with the box.

At one point, they all went in my daughter's room to watch a movie. I heard arguing. I told my oldest daughter to go in and take care of it. She has learned fine parenting skills from me. Telling your kid to "quit yer damn whining or I'll smack you upside the head" is fine parenting, right?

My worst moment was that Christopher, who is allergic to peanuts, found a candy in the house that wasn't in the pinata. It was a chocolate egg with a gummy dinosaur inside. I let him have it without thinking. (after I had been so careful with the cake and ice cream and pinata candy.)

He came around the corner asking, "Did this have peanuts in it?"

"Why are you sick?" I asked.

"No," he said.

I checked the package. There were no peanuts in it, but it had been manufactured on an assembly line that processed peanuts.

"You don't need to call my Mom," he said.

Of course I didn't need to call his Mom. I needed to wait until he went into anaphylactic shock and then call his Mom.

I gave her a call and explained what happened.

She asked if he had red spots on his face and he didn't.

She told me that he ate regular M&M's all the time and that he wasn't THAT sensitive to peanuts.

I got off the phone and changed my underwear.

If my oldest daughter, her boyfriend and another of her friends hadn't helped, I never would have made it through.

I also learned that a bag of candy and a painted box are no substitute for a goody bag.

As Christopher was leaving, he asked, "Where's the goody bag?"

I said, "Well I sent bags of candy and I thought you would enjoy your own painted box instead of a goody bag."

"But what about the goody bag with toys in it?" he said. I gave him some frog stickers, some sports-style beads that were for the boxes and a few Cuban cigars and sent him on his way.

The rewarding thing about the party was getting to know a bit more about my daughter's classmates.

Would I do it again soon? Hell, no!

Not only was I ready for bed at seven, but my house looked like the aftermath of a frat party, only with empty punch cups instead of beer cans.

Next time, Bouncetown!


Blogger Bearette24 said...

did you see "the new adventures of old christine" tonight? it was about how julia louis-dreyfus's character threw a birthday party for her kid, and all the things that went wrong...the kid even ended up with a nickname!

the peanut scare must have been frightening!

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Crazedmomof 4 said...

I agree with the parenting skills! Great!
Today when we were in "public" I jokingly smacked my son on the head, ( We do it all the time. Not real smacking, the fake stuff) Then I realized, that even though this was a joke & noone was hurt, it could look different to an outsider! Oh Well! I am going for the Meanest Mommy Award!

I'm glad the best part of the party has come to you. The over part, where you have a second to breath before you see the aftermath!;)

Just remember that having other people's kids over, makes you love your's even more.:L

10:16 PM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

the peanut allergy scare must have been horrible, I would have changed my underwear too!!!

How creative, Cuban Cigars, I usually give out dime bags and benadryl, at the begining of the

7:29 AM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:48 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Giving out Cubans at your kid's birthday party-- you must be the coolest mom in town. ;-)

I would be terrified to prepare food for a child with food allergies...

9:26 AM  
Blogger verniciousknids said...

You are a brave, brave woman Carolyn!

10:30 AM  
Blogger Joke said...

We go to a park, rent a bounce house, and I grill burgers and hotdogs and some grownup food for the grownups, and we're good to go.

The park fee ($10/hr) is a LOT less than hiring someone to clean my house, and a lot less tiring than US having to clean it.


11:03 AM  
Blogger Chelle said...

omg sounds like..ummmm lots of fun!! Yeah....lots of fun...hehe

I always hated having kids BD parties. No matter what I did, it was never as good as the ones they went to. Oh well....I guess that is why they invented those bounce places!! hehe

11:31 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

Haaahaaahaaahaahaa! It sounds like hell,but kind of fun at the same time;p
I love how you tell a story!

"Telling your kid to "quit yer damn whining or I'll smack you upside the head" is fine parenting, right?"

Right! lmao You should hear the things that come out of my mouth,heeheehee;p

12:10 PM  
Blogger MsCellania said...

Uh oh! We are having a home party for Oldest! Maybe not...But I did have a good laugh reading this.
We will skip the pinata, and feature only the rope, at our party.
There will be goody bags filled with chocolate candy and other things to trash the other parents' cars on the way home.
It will be held completely outside. We are going to have a bathing suit party where we have super soakers (July party) and outside stuff. If any kids need to pee, I'll tell them to pee on a tree.
Ixnay on the projects.
And based on Badger's Kid-Who-Almost-Never-Got-Picked-Up experience, I'm telling the parents to pick their kids up at 'x' o'clock SHARP! I'll say it at least 3 times to each parent.
And I'm hiring teenagers to run herd.

Thanks so much for this post. I am probably going to lose sleep, anyway. We were going to hire a balloon twister guy and a magician, but maybe that's too passe now? And their main goody was going to be that they got to take home the super-soaker - bwaa haa haa - I can see them blasting their parents in the car. Maaaaaaaaybe that's not a good idea...

12:32 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:07 AM  

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