My Brain Has Shriveled

I have nothing to write about - NOTHING!

So I will post some of my favorite spam lines for your reading pleasure. I am absolutely positive none of you get enough spam in your inboxes.

"Nice" Shaftoe says, "But it doesn't tell time too good."

(Too good? Shaftoe must be the kid that always asked the teacher, "Can I go to the bathroom?" Then the teacher always said, "Do you mean may I?")

A client to me is a mere unit, a factor in a problem

(Call me a unit. Then try to sell me something. That'll work.)

Bob and childbirth.

(If his name is Bob, I want to see the childbirth.)

"See," she explained, "The library is directly under the gunroom."

(Instructions for Babelbabe and Liz should they get lost at work.)

I have been asked how much of this tale of modern freebooters is true?

(If there's free boots anywhere, my blogger buddy Mary Poppins is getting in line!)

"My eyes are going," Doug says, "Does he look intact to you?"

(How do you check if a man is intact and where do I sign up?)

New impertinent pretext

(Damn those impertinent pretexts anyway!)

Began capital mescaline

(Mescaline, now you're talking!)

Dung beetles cavort tirelessly on Gene's bed

(I made that one up for Old Hoss)

Now that I have shared all these stupid spams, I can delete them. Woo-hoo!