Friday, May 19, 2006

A Meandering Story

It's another meandering story - the kind I excel at.

When I was young and stupid, I thought joining the military would be a great idea. If I were decent at wordlessly taking orders, it might have been.

As it was, it did not suit me.

I joined the Army National Guard. So, after basic training, I was down to one weekend a month. It wouldn't have been too bad if the SGT in charge of me would have trained me to do my job.

He wouldn't. He, in fact, despised me and made my life hell.

Don Smith, if you are still out there, you are a worthless piece of dung beetle food!

Anyway, I managed to procure a military i.d. that showed my age as 21, although I was only nineteen. That way I could go out with friends.

Don suspected that I had the i.d. but couldn't prove it. It drove him crazy! Heh heh

One night I went out to a bar with friends and got blistering drunk. In fact, I had to walk out of the bar, because I had to ferociously expel the contents of my stomach.

I was so drunk, I couldn't find my friend's car. Some guy helped me to it. I then proceeded to hurl all over the place.

When I was done, I asked him, "So do you want my phone number?"

Amazingly, he passed. I can't imagine why.

Y'all have a great weekend.


Blogger Gingers Mom said...

I can't imagine he wouldn't find that sexy.... :) The military life is not for everybody. I couldn't do it either - being married into it is bad enough! I like your story though.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Hehe...I threw up in a guy's bed in college. TMI, i know...but this is the tmi spot... ;)

2:47 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...


That's not TMI at all. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has done that kind of stuff.

I had a friend who threw up on a guy while she was performing a, um, favor that triggered her gag reflex. Hee hee

3:16 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

This is plenty cute, Carolyn. One small error, though: No dung beetle food is worthless. Think about it.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

Men nowdays dont know how to treat a good woman when they are hurling his loss.

5:26 PM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

i once had to have H's car professionally detailed.

7:00 PM  
Blogger Chelle said...

He declined your phone number after you threw up?? OMG was he insane??? hehehe

That was a cute story!!! hehe

9:18 PM  
Blogger Joke said...

I have been that guy. Nobody offered phone numbers, at least not in any way that I could tell.


2:49 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Old Horse, fine then.

Hoss- 1
Carolyn- 0

5:44 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...


Would you have taken it if they had?

5:45 PM  
Blogger Joke said...

I regret to say I think I might have. Then again, maybe the shock would have been too great.

If I had, it would have taken a bit of time to a) work up a good greeting ("Hi, I'm Joke...the guy who held your ponytail in the parking lot after XYZ's party, remember?") and b) put the memory far enough behind me.

I also noted usually how many drinks took to get to that state, so that, should the contingency arise, I would know what amount would be optimal.

I had something of a Macchiavellian streak as a lad.


2:35 PM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

bwaaahhh!! ROTF....I didn't throw up, until I got home, but the guy was right by me in the bathroom as remains of blue colored cutesy drinks poured in the porcelain express...real smooth...not to mention the fact that we had to make a pit stop at a fast food joint, and he had to help me in the

9:18 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

Heeheee. Cool story!

12:39 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said... least that's never happened to me ;) ;)

5:05 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

The thing that happened to your friend, i mean...

11:52 AM  

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