Too Cool For School
My teen daughter takes a packed lunch to school, partly because school lunches add up quickly cost-wise and partly so she doesn't have to wait in line to buy lunch.
No matter what her lunch is, it has to be in a brown paper sack. I have tried to get her to use a small insulated bag, to no avail.
So what if the sandwich has mayonaisse on it and it is a hundred degrees out? She will not use the insulated bag.
I asked her why she wouldn't use the insulated bag this morning.
She told me because only dorks use those to put their lunch in.
Yes, food poisoning is much cooler. Nothing at school screams cool louder than duck walking to the bathroom with your butt cheeks clenched.
********************
We had Boots, our male Boston. We thought we might like to breed Bostons since they are such great dogs.
We purchased Mandy (from the planet Stupid) from the same breeder.
Mandy is currently in heat. I thought she went in heat last month but that was maybe a pre-heat, kind of like an oven.
Anyway, I had no experience with dogs in heat. Ugh!
My friend told me to put a maxi-pad on the dog. Who's in charge, me or the dog, if I'm changing a pad? Besides, EEEEEEEEWWWWW!
She isn't old enough to breed yet. Because she is so gross, we are keeping her in the front bathroom. That is a problem because she doesn't get enough attention.
Even if I were to put a doggy diaper on her and she came out of the bathroom, what is to stop Boots from playing his Barry White CD's and attempting to "romance" her?
I think maybe we will be getting her spayed. I'm not up for this.
********************
Tracfone sent me an e-mail that said, "Did you know there's a GENIE in your pocket?"
Ooh, is he happy to see me?
No matter what her lunch is, it has to be in a brown paper sack. I have tried to get her to use a small insulated bag, to no avail.
So what if the sandwich has mayonaisse on it and it is a hundred degrees out? She will not use the insulated bag.
I asked her why she wouldn't use the insulated bag this morning.
She told me because only dorks use those to put their lunch in.
Yes, food poisoning is much cooler. Nothing at school screams cool louder than duck walking to the bathroom with your butt cheeks clenched.
********************
We had Boots, our male Boston. We thought we might like to breed Bostons since they are such great dogs.
We purchased Mandy (from the planet Stupid) from the same breeder.
Mandy is currently in heat. I thought she went in heat last month but that was maybe a pre-heat, kind of like an oven.
Anyway, I had no experience with dogs in heat. Ugh!
My friend told me to put a maxi-pad on the dog. Who's in charge, me or the dog, if I'm changing a pad? Besides, EEEEEEEEWWWWW!
She isn't old enough to breed yet. Because she is so gross, we are keeping her in the front bathroom. That is a problem because she doesn't get enough attention.
Even if I were to put a doggy diaper on her and she came out of the bathroom, what is to stop Boots from playing his Barry White CD's and attempting to "romance" her?
I think maybe we will be getting her spayed. I'm not up for this.
********************
Tracfone sent me an e-mail that said, "Did you know there's a GENIE in your pocket?"
Ooh, is he happy to see me?
posted by Caro at 4:03 PM
15 Comments:
Barry White will get you every time. ;)
Barry White always gets me;)
My friends have an unspayed dog(she's 10) and when she goes into heat it's pretty awful...they don't lock her up and she bleeds everywhere. Ewwwww
I remember the days when it was vital not to look like a dork.
No jacket at -5...sopping wet runners...hairspray and mascara running into your eyes and down your face..Goooood Times!
Once,we were at a festival in Port Moody and I saw a man with a Banana in Pajama's doll in each pocket..I was just about to ask him that VERY question but my husband stopped me!
Rats;p
omg that sounds so familiar. I rememeber when my kids started middle school......"What? A lunchbox? uhhh...no Mom...NO ONE carries a lunchbox anymore!! Only DORKS!" LMAO Whew...so glad it wastn' just my kids...lol
My kids have been carrying brown paper lunch bags for 15 years -
with mayonaise on their sandwiches.
No one has ever gotten sick.
oh. my. god. yet another reason i own CATS.
Hmmm Blackbird, maybe I worry too much.
Yeah, I wouldn't worry too much about the sandwiches. I used to eat sandwiches with mayo from a paper bag and I never got sick. Although I did get so used to the warm mayo that for a while as a little kid, cold mayo tasted weird. I think that was around the time Mom switched me to PB&J! LOL
They do actually sell doggie diapers; all our dogs are spayed, but it's healthier for them if they go through one or two heats before they're spayed. Something about the hormones. Anyway, it's a little belt that snaps on, and you shove tissue in the "pad" area. Gross, but better than bleeding everywhere . . . can't help ya with the Barry White, though! :D
Being cool in school is totally essential...lol!!
I remember changing my clothes at school, cuz my mom made me wear the most horrid orange color corduroys with a black sweater with flowers on it...I would have rather been naked and catching pneumonia than wear ORANGE SHERBERT COLORED CORDS..
But now I'm a mom...and when Miss C quickly says "That doesn't work", refering to my choice of clothes for her...I feel ur pain..
Aw, I love Bostons. Their cute little bug-eyes...
I remember seeing doggie maxi-pads in Petsmart once. They attached to a belt that had little hooks on it. Just like the old-school human ones!
Well, hell, there goes my chance to get a cheap Boston.
My sister has a Boston named Gizmo. I have not yet met Gizmo but he's called me once. (Hit auto dial and breathed heavily into the phone when I answered, before growling and tossing it aside.) It could also have been her Basset Hound calling me to come get him away from Gizmo, who is driving him nuts.
We only do boy dogberts around here. Now I see why. Currently only a rabbit in residence. Might consider a dog at some point, but I want small dog with hair, and dh wants large dog with fur. You can tell who does clean up around here.
And OF COURSE your daughter doesn't want to be seen with a lunch bag. Unless it was Vuitton, or something.
I had something more to say but it's gone.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ms. L - Your husband sounds like a party pooper. :)
Old Horse - I have an adult dog you can have if you don't mind tiptoeing around the wet spots.
Liz - I hated the old fashioned belt ones. Womankind has come a long way.
Mmmm...Barry White. Dogs in heat ARE gross. Almost as bad as cats. Just think how cute little Boston pups would be though....
Do dogs get PMT?!
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