Sunday, May 14, 2006

You Know You're A Redneck When...

I had a fun time observing the dogs Friday. Mandy is out of "receptive" mode, at least I think so.

She and Boots went in the back yard together. He kept sniffing her and trying to "assume the position." She kept running off leaving him in a state of perpetual frustration.

And I laughed. It takes pitifully little to entertain me.

I hope the joke isn't on me in two months when a litter of unplanned puppies springs forth.
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My prescription nasal spray is called Astelin.

The doctor gave me a sample and told me to use it twice a day.

I didn't read the package insert. Yeah, I'm brilliant I know.

I sniffed the stuff up my nose hardily. It felt like an ice pick was stabbing me in the eye.

Then I read the instructions. You are supposed to tip your head forward and sniff GENTLY.

Sometimes I still forget and do the Hoover sniff. Argh, my eyes!
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My daughter's body and mine have aligned so that we both start "that time" of the month on the same day.

This results in two weeks out of the month where we are the doublebitch twins.

I told her we are aligned, like the planets. Then I said -

"I'll be Jupiter. You can be Uranus."

Then I cackled hysterically while she wore her long suffering look.

I had an astronomy teacher in college who pronounced the name of this planet "Yer-uh-nus."

That's because he didn't want morons like me snickering in the back row.
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Joke had a quiz on his blog that determined your brand of humor.

Would anyone be surprised that I received idiot savant?

13 Comments:

Blogger BabelBabe said...

You totally crack me up with the Uranus thing. we're so juvenile.

6:32 PM  
Blogger Chelle said...

hehe I LOVED the uranus thing!! LOL

8:09 PM  
Blogger CheerleadingTechie said...

Hey C, I updated, check it out! (Though J have may already told you.)

8:46 PM  
Anonymous Crazedmomof4 said...

It don't take much to entertain us Rednecks. ;)

I liked the Uranus comment too!:)

6:12 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

If "idiot savant" is first place, then I would not be surprised.

9:57 AM  
Blogger Marste said...

::::snicker, snort:::: Uranus . . .

Hey, I took that joke quiz, too; I was the Shock Jock. I'm not sure I like being compared to Howard Stern . . . :P

10:11 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Babelbabe,Chelle and Crazed
Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one.

Old Horse - Thank you.

Marste - I got Jimmy Kimmel. Since I used to love The Man Show, it was pretty apt. But you - are MUCH more intelligent than Howard Stern.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

And Techie - CONGRATS!

10:58 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

haahaahaahaahaa!

Ohhh where do I start??
I laughed hard at everything!!

Ok,now I'm off to check out that quiz...

1:34 PM  
Blogger momslo said...

Carolyn- here's the site where I got the the picture from for my mothers day greeting-

it's: allposters.com
The artist is Louis toffoli and the painting is called"Manulla"

I love it too-it's beautiful and so is his other work-Momslo

3:56 PM  
Blogger nobody1001 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:20 AM  
Blogger Joke said...

Wow...the dog thing shouldn't surprise me, but I guess in dog years they have been married for 7 years.

-J.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

I can always count on you for a giggle. God help the men in the house! Of course it should be fun to use it as a weapon for your advantage. Send your husband out for a hot fudge sundae and some tampons, and enjoy being the women that rule all!

3:05 PM  

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