Open Mouth - Insert Foot

SJ was off pre-school for a week. He started back today. The schedule is different for the summer session. It is 9:30 to 12:00 and it is special-ed kids only.

As he and I were leaving, something he didn't want to do, one of the mothers had her little girl close the gate.

She said to her daughter, "You don't want to let any other kids out."

I said jokingly, "Yes, we'd better keep the inmates in the asylum."

She gave me a funny look and only then did it occur to me that I had called our special-needs children asylum inmates.

Because I'm all smooth and swift, that's me.
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I have been looking forward to my morning walk without stroller for some time now. As soon as I dropped SJ at school, I was going to take my walk.

Only my oldest daughter wanted to be at the movie theater by ten. I lost about half an hour of walking time.

As soon as I got home, I headed out. Our neighbor was having yard work done.

The lady who was doing the yard work said, "You have lots of weeds, huh?"

I think she was trying to drum up business.

I said, "Yes, I do and they are even growing out of the rain gutters."

Then I continued walking around the block.

When I got back near my house, I decided to go a different way with more hills only I saw Eli. He is a man who walks around the neighborhood constantly and talks the ear off anybody who is unfortunate enough to get waylaid by him.

He didn't spot me so I ducked off toward my house. I was planning on taking a circuitous route around him. But the yard lady was still there and I didn't want to hear an offer to do my weeds.

So I sighed and headed up my drive.

Tomorrow I'm going to walk in somebody else's neighborhood.
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After SJ was done with school, we went to the Stride Rite Outlet. His feet have gone from 9 1/2 to 10. I noticed he was stumbling more than usual.

I'm not sure about everybody else's special-needs kids, but my guy stumbles a lot.

He ran around the store like he had been mainlining sugar while I made my selections. I found him fire truck shoes and sandals. And I purchased a pair of tennis shoes for my seven-year old. Her feet have sprouted too.

I pay more for their shoes than I do for mine. Their sizes are hard to find. They both wear wides.

So do I, but since my feet are done growing, I hope, I can make a pair of shoes last until they are falling off my hooves.

After the shoe store I went to the housewares store and purchased a popcorn popper, the air kind, for fifteen bucks.

Then I went hunting for a sports bra. SJ was being a turd the whole time in every store but the shopkeepers were nice about it.

A few moms raised their brows but I have become mostly immune to it. My son is spirited and happy and rambunctious. Sorry ladies. As long as I am not letting him damage any of the store merchandise, we're okay.

I took him in the room while I tried on the sports bra. It fits kind of high, right about where my boobs are supposed to be. I jumped up and down and they still bounced. I jumped up and down with only my regular bra on and they bounced twice as high.

So I will be exercising wearing my regular bra with my sports bra on top and there will still be bouncing. That too is okay. Boobs bounce, that's life, right?
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Stalker Stacey called once last night and twice today. I just talked to her for half an hour Sunday.

Yet she calls and calls and calls.

Boobs will bounce, my kids will be turds, and Stalker Stacey, God bless her, will continue to fill up my phone machine with messages.

Life is grand, isn't it?