Sunday, July 23, 2006

Ask Me How I Am

Visit to emergency vet including x-rays to count puppies: $160.00

Visit to emergency vet to have puppy laid away $80.00

Visit to get dew claws and two tails removed including
Advantage flea control $250.00

Postpartum visit to treat mother dog's infection $150.00

The knowledge that I am single-handedly helping the
veterinarian pay his son's way through an Ivy League College: Priceless
My family tends to suffer from PMS, not theirs - mine. Sometimes I'm just a little bit crabby. Sometimes I'm so overwhelmingly angry that just asking me how I am, is likely to unleash a torrent of banshee-like wailing. This is one of those angry weeks.

I appear to have an ear infection. (appointment Monday) My stomach hurts. I'm exhausted and cuddly as a porcupine. And everybody from the kids to the dog is on my last nerve.

Things would be fine if we had a tee-pee in the back yard to throw me in that nobody would come near.

The kids have decided it would be the perfect week to hang all over me.

"Gee Mom, do that thing with your hands again. You kind of reminded me of Wolverine."

To top things off, an alarm went off this morning somewhere in the house. Of course I was the only one who heard it. I went to find it and finally did, in the closet in the hallway. It was a small battery-operated clock my son had been playing with yesterday.

Since I was up, and my damn ear hurt, I let the dogs out to go potty. Only I kept smelling dog poop in the front bathroom. The puppies looked clean. The floor looked clean.

The mystery was solved when I looked in the bathtub. Yes, Mandy had shat in the bathtub. Have I ever mentioned that I really, really, really want a doggy door?

Maybe all this stuff happens because I'm surrounding myself with a black cloud of bad mood. From now on, I will try to grin like Whitney on crack, sending out happy vibes everywhere.

Maybe then I'll win the lotto. Somebody just give me some damn coffee first.
Children's Place and last month both sent me e-mails prompting me to shop the Children's Place monster sale.

Why would I want to shop a monster sale?

I already have three of my own.


Blogger Paula said...

Oh, Carolyn, I do hope your ear feels better soon, but you're on your own with the vet bill. Between blood tests because of her age and special anesthsia, and gum surgery, It cost me almost 700.00 to get Goldies teeth cleaned:0.

And the way I see it, they all deserve a dose of pms once and a while.

8:40 AM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

I hope your ear feels better soon too. Sorry about the tub, that must have been gross. Monster sale...with monsters on the shelves :)

10:12 AM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

Poor Carolyn. I'm trying to hire someone to drop my kids off in the desert somewhere. Let me know if you want them to pick up yours on the way. Feel better!
Eat some chocolate and lock yourself in the bathroom...the one that doesn't smell like poop.

1:23 PM  
Blogger Crazedmomof4 said...

Someone's gotta pay for the next generation of vets.;)

I always feel that crabby around my monsters. I have to remind "Sponge Bob" about personal space & of course, I feel guilty about it later.

If you start smiling, they may ask you more often, What's the matter?!That's what my monsters do.:D

8:06 PM  
Blogger MsCellania said...

Oh No! I'm sorry about all the goings on - and an ear infection?! That's simply Not Fair. You better find that VooDoo doll with your hair on it - Considerate of that girl dog to poop in a place easy to clean, and so the rest of the puppies didn't step in it. Doggy doors are great, but other critters can come in, too.

I had one of those majorly pissed off weeks a while back. We all have off times. And since you're fighting an infection, you are zapped! No energy to spare, and so much going on. I hope next week is MUCH better.

Yikes about the vet bills! You are going to have to sell those Bambinos for alot! (the dogs, not the kids!)

9:42 PM  
Blogger MsCellania said...

And THANKS for snipping the dew claws now! Can't very well do it later.

9:42 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

PJ - Yikes. How old is Goldie?

Bearette - Thank goodness for bleach.

Kristin - I can't lock myself in the bathroom. That's where my husband hides.

Crazed - I feel guilty a lot too.

Vickee - I was thinking that at least three of the people who buy the dogs, have to take a kid too.

8:04 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Terrific ending, Carolyn. You are some punkins.

Sorry, though, you feeling so punk. That's the good thing about the future -- you just know things will be better.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

teehee monsters;)

I'm sorry you're feeling this way.
I know what that's like,ugh,it sucks.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

"Gee Mom, do that thing with your hands again. You kind of reminded me of Wolverine."

What thing do you do with your hands???

As for Mandy...well Carolyn, I don't think you give Mandy enough credit..she pooped in the tub...the toilet is jut too challenging still...

BTW: Hope your ear gets better..!!

9:19 PM  
Blogger Paula said...

Goldie is fine, slow for one day and then back to normal.

How are you? Is your ear better?

6:38 AM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

hahahahahaaaa!!! you are hilarious.

But I do hope your ear is feeling better.

7:42 AM  

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