Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Needed - A 36 Hour Day

Life is asking more of me lately than I am willing/capable of giving.

It's one of those months where I'm considering installing a hamster wheel in the house. If I'm running in place, I may as well have fun doing it.

Yeesh.
********************
Everybody's house has a few quirks. Maybe you have the faucet where the hot comes out the cold side or the floor board that always creaks.

We have the toilet that always clogs.

Anybody that does "business" in that particular toilet must immediately flush. Then they must wipe and then flush again. And they can't wipe too much or else.

This toilet is great fun since it is the main bathroom my seven-year old uses. She, like most kids, is not economical with her use of the toilet paper.

I have become an expert plunger. First I had to get rid of the cheap plunger. It was shaped like a bowl and immediately turned inside out when I started plunging. Turning it right side out was fraught with danger as "matter" tended to fly everywhere. So now I have the hardware store plunger that is guaranteed not to turn inside out.

I have become so good at plunging, that I am thinking about making a type of workout video that nobody has ever made before.

I'll call it "Plunging to the Oldies" or maybe "Plunge Aerobics". Catchy, huh?

The workout video will come in a box with a plunger and a toilet-like bowl that sticks to the floor with a suction cup.

I'll start with arms of course.

"Plunge, up and down, that's right you've got it now. Feel the burn?"

While I am doing the tape, I will keep that aerobic instructor pert grin on my face to hide the fact that I am snarling inside.

After working the arms, I'll do some grapevines while pumping the plunger back and forth. I can also do squats while holding on to the plunger.

I'll be a millionaire. You just wait and see.

Old Hoss won't be the only one making his "pile."

You can all say you knew me when...

21 Comments:

Blogger Bearette24 said...

seriously, you should do it.

9:36 PM  
Blogger Joke said...

Yah huh!

-J.

P.S. NTS has given "a burial at sea" to the most appalling household objects. There is nothing worse than hearing Mr. Plumber Guy say "There's yer problem, right there." as he points to a tennis ball, plush toy, silk flowers, etc.

Oy.

-J.

9:43 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

LOL great idea. Really glad I just have the hot cold switched problem. That would just be awful to deal with. But if you make your fortune, it may be worth it.

10:58 PM  
Blogger Crazedmomof4 said...

You & Old Hoss should go together with the plunger & dung beetles to help keep them clean.:D

That wouldn't work in our house, since nobody but me knows how the toilet works. They seem not to be able to get the hard task of flushing, down.

This is funny right now because the kids are watching a Sponge Bob episode where they learn how to make a crabby patty & the main thing to remember is POOP!

11:05 PM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

"Plunging to the Oldies"...allow me to roll on the floor in hysterics!!

****

My mom's toilet will not flush unless you squirt some liquid palmolive in it...talk about a clean bowl..jeez..

6:47 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Man, I had no idea toilets could be so finicky!

Is the required routine for that toilet posted somewhere, in case you have unsuspecting guests?

7:38 AM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

LOL!! Plungers....helping your ass in more ways than one.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

Plunging to the Oldies what a great way to get your arms in shape sign me up for a dvd.

9:57 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

Haaaa,that'd be perfect!
I'd buy it. Set me up!

You are a joy to read:) You always cheer me up and make me laugh out loud!

11:10 AM  
Anonymous mad rabbit said...

Knew you when????you were sane???Nah that never happened. But stranger things have become big hits, I know a bar where they play a game with plungers (its in Morrow Bay. Go for it before someone else does.

11:52 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I will take a video. I am always plunging our toilet. You can't put the tp in it or you will be plunging for a week.

Oh yeah I just read Undomestic Goddess last week. I luved it!! A funny light, no thinking book. :)

12:26 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Bearette - Now you've got me thinking "You Tube".

Joke - I'm glad you don't have a gerbil or hamster.

Liz - I need to make my fortune. The gas prices and correlating rising prices everywhere are bankrupting us!

Crazed - People eat our patties! :)

Mary - I'm thinking your Mom trained that toilet personally.

Liz - No rules posted, but plunger in plain sight (tacky I know) so nobody has to ask where it is if they should clog.

Kristin - I like that slogan!

Lori - You get the first copy. LOL

Ms. L. - I'm glad I cheered you.

Mad Rabbit - You can be the camerawoman.

Beadinggal - Isn't it nice to read a book that doesn't make you think?

4:09 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Speaking of piles....

I had this problem once, dear, and the problem wasn't the toilet but the pipe that takes the "stuff" away -- it was broken.

You can get these people to come in a put a little camera down your toilet and look see -- all the way to the street. And you did want to see some "stuff" rolling down there, didn't you?

Good luck, kid.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Old Hoss -

You are a wise man.

We did have a plumber out once to snake it. It wouldn't unclog.

He pointed out that it isn't lined up with the hole cut in the floor so the "escape hatch" is half the normal size.

7:26 PM  
Blogger CheerleadingTechie said...

"Mad Rabbit - You can be the camerawoman."

Can I Stage Manager, Costumes, and Lights?

8:21 PM  
Blogger CheerleadingTechie said...

**Stage Manage

8:22 PM  
Blogger MsCellania said...

The 2nd thing I am inventing in our new house is the Turbo Assisted Flush. You can push one button for regular pee pee, maybe 4 sheets. Then there is #2 button for, yep, normal #2's, small amount of paper, possibly 1 wet wipe.

But #3? For the true Thunder Pot Experience coupled with a ton-o-paper and 2 wet wipes? It would have a Turbo Assisted Thunderous WHOOSH that would not only completely clean the bowl and all it's contents, it would be powerful enough to essentially snatch the undies off a 4 year old within - oh say - half a foot. Yes, that button would be in Another Room. Up High.

8:34 PM  
Blogger Crazedmomof4 said...

I like Vickee's idea! :D

9:05 PM  
Blogger CheerleadingTechie said...

I could totally see all of you in a white room---colorfully finger painted with everything from paint and markers to PB&J.... coming up with ideas and trying to market them... heck... I see a guy from a major patent company of one end... and the writer of Guiness Book and Darwin on the other...

11:03 PM  
Anonymous carolyn said...

me thinks, if you need a 36 hour day, then perhaps it's time to call a plumber and let them fix it. Your toilet makes me happy that our house just seeps water during a storm.

8:52 AM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

i can say i kne wyou before you made YOUR pile. so to speak : )

what a fab idea. where do i sign up? Oh wait, i alreday have....

11:09 AM  

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