It's Contagious
I caught the new meme going around. Aachoo!
Five things I wish were in my freezer:
Ian's brand gluten/casein free chicken nuggets.
Fully cooked dinners for the next week.
My former MIL's strawberry freezer jam.
Stir-fry vegetables, the good ones that Costco used to sell but doesn't anymore.
My brother-in-law's body.
Five things that shouldn't be in my wardrobe:
Those really cute shoes I purchased but never wore because they have a small heel.
All those sweat pants I like to schlep around in.
The thousands of pair of different colored socks.
That wrap dress I still haven't worn because the material is ugly. Why did I buy that?
The underwear that have become too big and now pull up to my armpits.
Five things I hate about my car:
The a/c took a crap this weekend.
Only two doors.
The speaker in the back right that makes ungodly, ugly noises and needs to be extracted with a sledgehammer if necessary.
No floor space.
No machine gun mounted on the front to take care of those pesky people who cut me off.
Five things I should throw out of my handbag/purse/briefcase/backpack:
All the receipts
The baggy of Fruity Pebbles.
The book I'm done reading.
My husband's pliers.
Whatever treasures my children have given me to hold on to. This usually consists of acorns, rocks or toys.
Five things I don't want to admit are in my bathroom:
Those overnight pads that are so long, they tuck under your chin and wrap around to the back of your head.
Expired medicines, way expired.
Those hair rollers from the 80's.
That curling iron that burned a hole in the back of my hair. Not sure why I haven't thrown it out.
Pre-natal vitamins that are about eight years old. I don't think I'll be taking those ever again.
Five things I wish were in my freezer:
Ian's brand gluten/casein free chicken nuggets.
Fully cooked dinners for the next week.
My former MIL's strawberry freezer jam.
Stir-fry vegetables, the good ones that Costco used to sell but doesn't anymore.
My brother-in-law's body.
Five things that shouldn't be in my wardrobe:
Those really cute shoes I purchased but never wore because they have a small heel.
All those sweat pants I like to schlep around in.
The thousands of pair of different colored socks.
That wrap dress I still haven't worn because the material is ugly. Why did I buy that?
The underwear that have become too big and now pull up to my armpits.
Five things I hate about my car:
The a/c took a crap this weekend.
Only two doors.
The speaker in the back right that makes ungodly, ugly noises and needs to be extracted with a sledgehammer if necessary.
No floor space.
No machine gun mounted on the front to take care of those pesky people who cut me off.
Five things I should throw out of my handbag/purse/briefcase/backpack:
All the receipts
The baggy of Fruity Pebbles.
The book I'm done reading.
My husband's pliers.
Whatever treasures my children have given me to hold on to. This usually consists of acorns, rocks or toys.
Five things I don't want to admit are in my bathroom:
Those overnight pads that are so long, they tuck under your chin and wrap around to the back of your head.
Expired medicines, way expired.
Those hair rollers from the 80's.
That curling iron that burned a hole in the back of my hair. Not sure why I haven't thrown it out.
Pre-natal vitamins that are about eight years old. I don't think I'll be taking those ever again.
posted by Caro at 7:04 PM
18 Comments:
Overnight pads!!! Tampons are better.
Your brother-in-law's body, huh?
Yeah, except I'd have to use the big freezer so he would fit. LOL
Oh My on the BIL! What did he do? Cut you off while driving? ;) LOL
I always love when I got a lego man riding around for a month or so in my purse. I always say at the checkout that I better take him out when I get home but somehow I forget & he is there until the next time I'm in the checkout line.
Are the curlers those pink and purple Conair Hot Sticks ones? I always wanted a set of those.
"Those really cute shoes I purchased but never wore because they have a small heel."
Because you prefer higher heels, or because you prefer flats? Inquiring (shoe-loving) minds want to know.
Hey, give the guy a SPINACH SALAD. hahahahahahaha
I am too lazy to look in everything and list what I have that is way beyond its Sell By date. Too much, I fear.
I was SO GLAD to log in and see you've updated. You are always funny!
which brother in law and why would you want to ruin a perfectly good freezer.
I hope nothing actually happens to your Bro-in-law or the authorities may be knocking on your door. ;)
I'm afraid to admit (but I will anyway since noone really knows me here), that I have more than a few things in common with you (minus the BIL thing). Of them, the underwear and the pads are on the top. Although I must say that they do work quite well. I'll go now before this starts sounding like one of those ads that my husband loathes.
(Shall I say, let's have a big momma underwear burning party? I was just looking in my drawer the other day thinking I need to do something with them.)
Crazed - Nah, he and I just hate each other.
Liz - I had that kind, but they wore out. The wires came out through the plastic. And I prefer flats because I'm 5'9". Every time I put on heels, I feel like Lurch.
Mscellania - Spinach would work if he would actually eat vegetables. Hmmmm. Could I somehow sneak it into some pork chops?
Mad Rabbit - The weird brother in law. Now you still don't know, huh?
Roxanne - The authorities would have so many doors to knock on, they'd never make it to mine. Can we burn bras too?
Your brother in law's body? Creepy....is there room in your freezer for mine too? We hate each other as well.
Haa,you've got a body in there too?
Who knew??;p
Congrats on the too big undies!
So glad you did this version! ; )
Perhaps you could smear the strawberry freezer jam on B-I-L's body?!
And wear the heels...you are supermodel height!
The overnight pads bit killed me...!!
Why on earth do they make them like that???
Is there going to be some sort of flood in the middle of the night, where it can turn into a floatation device?
One thing I hate to admit I have in my bathroom:
A Couple of Witchy candles stashed away...that I burn for good luck..
Alas, none have worked..
Ginger, I think we can squeeze him and your MIL in.
Ms. L. - Thanks. Undie shopping is definitely in order.
Bec - I didn't see the other version. Now I'll have to find it.
Vernicious - But I don't look like a supermodel.
Mary - I think maybe those candles are working. You sound downright cheery lately.
Sweet! I'll go get my butterfly net and a cleaver.
You always ALWAYS make me laugh.
Your BIL's body indeed! If you wrap him well in a double layer of wax paper and clingwrap, there's no need to consider the freezer ruined.
I can't wear tampons at night. TMI indeed.
Currently in my purse: 1 Doc Hudson Happy Meal toy, 1 Gordon the Train from Thomas, 1 half-eaten oatmeal bar, and a baggie of very stale Cheerios. Also some zwieback from 2002.
Hi Carolyn. don't bother! the Other Version is the reason This Version exists!!
The Punisher sends his love.
Bec
I can never feel nagged by you!:P.
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