Thursday, September 14, 2006

A Loss

It is with great sadness that I announce the removal of Boots' favorite pair of fuzzy dice.

He was finding the return of Mandy's girlish figure extremely attractive so we had no time to waste.

He went to the vet on Tuesday, where they removed his most prized possession, or would that be possessions?

I went to pick him up Tuesday night. He looked shell shocked. He was shaking and staring out of crazy eyes.

Due to the fact that, for some reason, he swelled up like Michael Jackson playing with little boys, he was kept for an extra night.

He still wasn't ready Wednesday morning. I was able to pick him up Wednesday afternoon. Good golly Miss Molly, my dog has elephantitis of the dick.

He is also wearing one of those cone-shaped plastic collars on his head. SJ called him a flower. I guess he IS kind of feminine now.

To add insult to injury, Mandy is avoiding him.

Boots has informed me that he will be filming a documentary of his ordeal titled "Dude, Where's My Nutsack?"

15 Comments:

Blogger BabelBabe said...

You ALWAYS crack me up.

Also, I am at work so don't have your email - but you need to read Water for Elephants.

4:59 PM  
Blogger Chelle said...

LOL When I first read this I was like....huh? Fuzzy dice? WTF?? LOL I'm such a spaz..hehe I love how you tell stories.....you are great!

7:18 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

hehe...he was finding the return of her girlish figure extremely attractive. I guess he was nipped in the bud :D

sorry, couldn't resist...

7:22 PM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

Poor Boots. He's not half the dog he used to be.

9:01 PM  
Blogger MsCellania said...

I don't blame Mandy for avoiding him, with a billy club like that!

Poor Boots. But it had to be done.

9:57 PM  
Blogger Crazedmomof4 said...

It must be done but I always feel bad for them. I hope Mandy starts being nice to him so he doesn't feel too bad! She should be glad he's not able to spread his seeds.;)

7:08 AM  
Blogger Paula said...

Poor baby. He'll be happier for it though.

8:19 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Bearette- LOL!

I remember when we got Alex neutered. When I got home from work, he met me at the door, whimpering. Then he rolled over and showed me what they did to him.

Don't worry, he doesn't even seem to miss 'em now. :)

9:09 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

Haaahaa
Poor Boots!
But it's better this way;)

9:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor Buddy had to have that done at 9 years old because he was having urinary problems (prostate).
Thank God Boots is younger.

11:54 AM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

How do you explain the elephantitis to your 3 year old? Hee hee hee hee hee.
I had to read your first line several times to figure out what you meant by FUzzy Dice. LOL

3:13 PM  
Blogger verniciousknids said...

You always make me laugh Carolyn...thanks!

8:55 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Babelbabe - Maybe I'll get on the library waiting list.

Chelle - Don't fuzzy dice make you think of testicles?

Bearette - That's a good one.

Roxanne - We think alike. I was singing a song to my husband about that. "I'm half the dog I used to be. My ( ) has gone away."

Mscellania - I'm glad it is done.

Crazed - This is payback for her having to deliver 8 pups. :P

PJ - I'll be happier for it too.

Liz - I think he already doesn't miss them, but he hates that plastic collar.

Ms. L. - Much better.

Anonymous - He probably wouldn't have made it if we'd waited till he was nine.

Kristin - Have you ever heard a song by Cake called "Race Car Ya-ya's?"

Vernicious - Glad to be of service. :)

11:11 AM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

I was slow getting the fuzzy dice thing too...

But then...this came up:

"he swelled up like Michael Jackson playing with little boys,..."


::shakes head::

"Thoooose fuzzy dice!!"

7:27 AM  
Blogger Sarah Louise said...

poor guy...

3:13 PM  

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