Superheroes Unite!

Has anybody else been watching Heroes on TV?

It's about a group of people who have developed different super powers. Their mission is to save the world.

I have been too modest to admit it up until now, but I too have a super power.

That's right folks. I am the toilet paper fairy.

Nobody, but nobody else around here is capable of putting toilet paper on the roll. They sit down. They use the bathroom. They empty the paper roll. They walk off.

I am the one who swoops in quickly and replenishes the roll. Nobody in this house has to face the dreaded situation called "drip dry."

Not only am I the only one who can fill the roll, I am the only one who can find the toilet paper.

I can bring home a package of toilet paper the size of the Empire State Building and sit it in the middle of the family room floor. Then I magically make it invisible. Nobody sees it or takes it back to the bathroom.

They all walk around it, for weeks if need be.

Then, if by some horrid anomaly of the space time continuum, I have lapsed in my refilling duties, I hear, "Where's the toilet paper?"

Where indeed?

I snatch up the toilet paper only I can see and fly to their rescue.

I pull out a roll and hand it to them, at which point it becomes magically visible.

When they are done with the roll, and they place it ON TOP of the dispenser, I go in and set things to rights.

I may not be worshipped like that blasted Santa Claus or the tooth fairy, but I am a necessary super hero. Just try to live without me, just try!