Sunday, June 10, 2007

Letter of Resignation

Dear Family,

While I love you all dearly, I feel it is time for me to pursue employment elsewhere.

I am tired of starting at one side of the kitchen cleaning, making it to the other side, and then having to start over again.

I am tired of going into a completely quiet kitchen to fix myself something to eat and having you suddenly all appear like a horde of galloping buffalo.

I am tired of having to clean a poopy diaper the minute I have gotten a chance to fix my own plate of food.

Your sick leave policy stinks. In fact your sick policy seems to be that no matter how sick I am, I must still wait on you.

I'm not fond of your vacation policy either. It states that I must take you with me and wait on you in a different location than home.

While your bathroom policy is generous in that I get unlimited breaks, they are less than relaxing due to the incessant pounding on the door.

You never pick up your messes. If I mop the floor, something is spilled within ten minutes. Your dirty clothes never make it into the hamper. Your wet towels never get hung up. I never get to finish any task without stopping to wait on you.

I have invented a time machine and I am going back to tell my single self to finish college and enjoy that single life.

I will tell her to enjoy sleeping in , reading books and watching movies without a child coming in the room banging on toy drums.

I will tell her that keeping her living space clean is nothing when she only has to clean up after herself.

I will tell her that she is quite significant all by herself.

If she is smart, she will heed my advice.

Sincerely,
Mrs. B

19 Comments:

Blogger badgerdaddy said...

Hmmmmm. Are you feeling a bit put-upon, by any chance? Blimey woman, sounds like you need a break to me. I know you can't really have one though, which is very annoying.

Not a lot I can say, really. Sorry. x

4:14 PM  
Blogger Iamthebookworm said...

You sound stressed! Take some time for yourself if anyone will let you get away.

6:40 PM  
Blogger daysgoby said...

Hear, hear!

Had a day like that meself today...ah, good thing I love 'em or they'd all be out in the yard!

7:48 PM  
Blogger Undomestic said...

Oh my goodness! I so get this! Especially the whole kitchen thing. Let's see, I just finished my Masters, and what am I doing...wiping up messes..all...day...long! I need to go back to work as well. Need to feel like I'm worth something...anything! Hang in there!

8:37 PM  
Blogger Chris H said...

I want that time machine after you have finished with it!!! It is just like that in my house too, I spend 99% of my time cleaning up some other bugger's mess..... and Caro a "dag" is someone who is funny, goofy, a bit strange... or if you are a sheep its the bits of shit left hanging off ya butt !!! Ha ha ha aha hahahahhahaha!!!!

9:24 PM  
Blogger Chris H said...

YOU ASKED !!!

9:25 PM  
Blogger Chris H said...

Darn forgot... Brylee is quite a tame kid, not too loud or outgoing, gives us no problems apart from the eating issues... Griffin is the "on the go, in your face" one!!! Brylee does not seem to have much "up and go" and is happy to play with her dolls quietly for ages.. Griffin can't keep still and drives us nuts!

9:29 PM  
Blogger Suzy said...

Wouldn't it be good if we could turn the clock back sometimes! I like that!

10:56 PM  
Blogger paula said...

Come on over honey, and I'll make you something to eat undisturbed.

6:08 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

Badgerdaddy - Both kids go back to school today so it should get better.

Bookworm - I believe the gym is calling me.

Daysgoby - I have filled my yard with toys to lure them.

Chris H - Brylee looked like maybe she was a bit of a mischief maker to me. I loved her face and that morning hair. Thanks for the dag definition, glad I'm not a sheep.

Suzy - I would go back and literally kick myself. LOL

Paula - Sounds great! I can tell you're a good cook.

6:50 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

Undomestic - Your Masters? Wow. My hat is off to you. That's great!

6:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You might as well tell your girls the story and hope they listen to you and wait to get married and have kids.

A committment to kids and husband is a life-long one.

8:17 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

Beeeyootiful Carolyn!
I'm snorting and laughin over the vacation time. It's not fair to have to take them with us!

11:17 AM  
Blogger Chelle said...

Take me with you in that time machine!? Please?? LOL

12:05 PM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

Maybe you could go on strike for a week and join me in NYC?

Aw I know it's not realistic, but it's a fun thought nonetheless!

6:52 PM  
Blogger livesbythewoods said...

If you don't already have one, get an iPod sweetie. Use it to drown out the bellowing hordes when you are trying to relax. Works for me.

Keep smiling.

2:55 AM  
Blogger Ty said...

Can you write one of these for me too?

5:28 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

Anonymous - It isn't necessarily a life-long commitement. I could go out to buy almond milk and never come home.

Ms. L. - I don't see how it can even be called a vacation.

Chelle - I'm sure there's room for two. No problem.

Roxanne - That sounds like a plan.

Lives by the woods - I do have an MP3 player. Maybe I'll go online and get more songs. Then I'll have a good two hours worth.

Ty - It gets tiresome, doesn't it?

6:56 AM  
Blogger My float said...

Do you have any room for me in your time machine?

3:23 PM  

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