Letter of Resignation

Dear Family,

While I love you all dearly, I feel it is time for me to pursue employment elsewhere.

I am tired of starting at one side of the kitchen cleaning, making it to the other side, and then having to start over again.

I am tired of going into a completely quiet kitchen to fix myself something to eat and having you suddenly all appear like a horde of galloping buffalo.

I am tired of having to clean a poopy diaper the minute I have gotten a chance to fix my own plate of food.

Your sick leave policy stinks. In fact your sick policy seems to be that no matter how sick I am, I must still wait on you.

I'm not fond of your vacation policy either. It states that I must take you with me and wait on you in a different location than home.

While your bathroom policy is generous in that I get unlimited breaks, they are less than relaxing due to the incessant pounding on the door.

You never pick up your messes. If I mop the floor, something is spilled within ten minutes. Your dirty clothes never make it into the hamper. Your wet towels never get hung up. I never get to finish any task without stopping to wait on you.

I have invented a time machine and I am going back to tell my single self to finish college and enjoy that single life.

I will tell her to enjoy sleeping in , reading books and watching movies without a child coming in the room banging on toy drums.

I will tell her that keeping her living space clean is nothing when she only has to clean up after herself.

I will tell her that she is quite significant all by herself.

If she is smart, she will heed my advice.

Sincerely,
Mrs. B