Saturday, June 23, 2007

You Can Run But You Can't Hide

It's THAT week, the week defined by three little letters that scare the crap out of my whole family - PMS.

It tends to be somewhat manageable if I have been exercising. Due to the flu thingy, I didn't feel well enough this week to exercise. So it has reared its ugly head with a vengeance.

No chocolate is safe, in fact, no food is safe. I am feeling fat and frumpy and pissed off. Aye caramba!
While tucking in the kids last night I started thinking about monsters.

Sammy has been watching Monsters Inc. a lot lately so it's not surprising.

When I was a kid, I was sure a monster had to have a green face. The monster that scared me was on Scooby Doo. Yes I was the oddly wimpy child afraid of Scooby Doo monsters, or at least this particular one.

Who remembers the round table with a tablecloth flying across the room? In the center of the table was a crystal ball with a green head in it. Yep, that was the monster I was afraid of.

Throw in the fact that commercials for "The Exorcist" were showing on TV with old, pea soup face Linda, and I was a certifiable expert in my knowledge that monsters had green faces.

I knew there was one in my closet. I slept UNDER the covers, a most uncomfortable way to sleep. But it was safer. Everybody knows that if you sleep under the covers the monster will NEVER see you there. They're not only green but apparently near-sighted.

I was too scared to go up the stairs one night to my room and my father said that if I didn't go upstairs, I would get a spanking. So I went upstairs, quivering all the way.

The next day, I heard the jackass loudly (and proudly) braying to his friend about how he threatened me with punishment and I just "waltzed up the stairs."

I think my father's face should have been green.
Azure caught my cold and missed the last three days of school.

Our bedrooms are across the hallway from each other and we were both laying in bed taking turns coughing.

"HACK HACK hack"

"HACK hack HACK"

"hack HACK hack"

It was as if we were communicating via our own special version of Morse code.

I'm off to buy some Benadryl today.
Guys you may not want to read this part.

Last week it was time for the every two year visit to the pm. (pussy mechanic) I stole that expression from Bearette at Potatoes in the Mist. (Sorry all, too tired for html. The link is on the right.)

So I told her the good, my change in lifestyle from sedentary to active.

I told her the bad. I feel like a eunuch.

And of course she was staring the ugly right in the face. LOL

GAR, I hate that appointment. It's so damn humiliating.

How can scientists make a pill that will help men get it up long past when they need to, but they can't figure out a blood test to check for cervical cancer?

I'm sure it all comes down to $$$$.
The in-laws are coming to visit today. They are going to watch the rugrats while we go to a concert.

What does one wear to a concert nowadays? I'm thinking capri pants and a t-shirt, nothing fancy.

Any suggestions?

I need to cut down on the chocolate today so my muffin tops won't be poking out while I'm surrounded by all those twenty-somethings at the concert.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend.

Over and out!


Blogger badgerdaddy said...

You have a good one too. What's the concert?

9:43 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace. We'll definitely be the geezers in the crowd.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

And I stole it from Ashley at Popscholar ;) She seems to have stopped blogging though.

It is icky, isn't it? Stirrups. Ugh.

I think the capris and T-shirt sound good.

2:27 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Wow, I haven't heard of those bands.

2:27 PM  
Blogger Chris H said...

The capris and t-shirt sounds fine, I have never heard of those bands either. Hope your results from the humiliating procedure come back just fine! Mine did not, am waiting for surgery bugger!

2:36 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Well, the concert's name should tip you off. It might be a grunge concert, and it might be a so-la-ti-la-ti-do kind of thing. Wear your tux in either case. Can't go wrong.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Undomestic said...

pm....very funny. I'll have to see what my husband thinks about being called this...I'm sure he'll laugh! He does a lot of incontinence surgery, so it's like he really is a mechanic!!!

8:00 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

Have fun at the concert.

Have you tried a Chocolate Martini?

8:24 PM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

How was it???
I think your outfit was totally suitable.

I was afraid of the monsters on Scooby Doo too(and the monsters in my life:) )

9:06 AM  
Blogger Iamthebookworm said...

You said: "How can scientists make a pill that will help men get it up long past when they need to, but they can't figure out a blood test to check for cervical cancer?" Amen sister!

7:14 PM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

Ah, my PMS sister! My family cowers and hides from me too. Dan usually doesn't make it through without a few bite and claw marks.
Did you have fun at the concert? I always feel like an old loser at those things. No matter what I do I look like "mommy" undercover.
Scooby Doo scared me too.

10:43 AM  
Blogger Mary Poppins said...

Hope the concert was fun....

If it's any consolation I was terrified of monsters and demons and the whole nine yards...I thought that if I stepped off my bed they would yank me by my legs. Never had a good night sleep.

Now I have a lil' cute monster of my own...who yanks the covers and coughs in my face...haven't had a good night sleep either..

1:23 PM  
Blogger livesbythewoods said...

Last time I had to pay a visit to the Stirrups of Despair, the doctor actually took a call on his mobile. While he was beavering away down there.

So to speak.

The nurse stood there looking like The Scream behind him while he continued delving with one hand, and faffing about with his phone with the other.

I laughed. Well it was that or cry, really.

1:48 PM  
Blogger paula said...

Ooh, I hope you feel better AND that you had agood time at the concert!

5:43 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Have fun at the concert! :)

7:47 PM  
Blogger Sarah Louise said...

Ah feel your pain, as I'm currently in UMS (ugly mood swings--I know the mood is supposed to break and improve once "it" comes, but WHEN????)

Hope the concert was lovely, I'm recovering from my vacation out West, come visit!! We'll be grumpy together.

I loved the line about you and Azure and coughing in Morse code.


7:15 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

Bearette - T-shirt and capris worked perfectly.

Chris H - I wish you well on the surgery.

Old Hoss - I don't have a tux and you don't live close enough to borrow yours.

Undomestic - Incontinence surgery? After three kids, I'm almost there.

Lori - I have not, but it sounds yummy.

Ms. L - It was awesome, especially the people watching.

Bookworm - There are other cancers they can blood test for. Hopefully someday...

GM - I may have looked like Mommy Undercover. The guy next to me looked a little nervous.

Mary - Kids come in, good night's sleep goes out...

Livesbythewoods - Maybe we should ask Miss Manners the etiquette on that one.

Paula - I am FINALLY feeling better.

Beadinggal - I did thanks.

SL - Ooh, a fellow grouch. We could sit around and bitch together.

11:34 AM  

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