Monday, January 18, 2010

Of Facebook and High School

When my oldest daughter joined Myspace, I did also. Not because I wanted to be young and hip, but because I wanted to be careful that she did not inadvertently post something inappropriate. It is very easy to do things on the Internet without thinking and it is hard to take those things back.

When I joined Facebook, it was because so many of my bloggy friends were there. I have really come to enjoy the Facebook community, getting to know many friends better and reconnecting with old friends.

But now I am going to go way back, to my middle and high school days. I was probably one of the most wretched teens in the history of the world. I was angry, unhappy, disrespectful, loud and sarcastic. And those were my good qualities. Also, please note loud and sarcastic can't be put in the past tense.

From sixth grade until my senior year, I had a friend I shall call Mia. I thought she was the best thing since sliced bread. She probably could have asked me to walk across broken glass and then soak my feet in lemonade and I might have said yes.

I was her minion. And I'm sure in some ways, she was mine. We would get together and torture other people as only teen girls can do. If she said she didn't like somebody, then I decided I didn't like them. Sometimes she changed her mind and decided she liked them, but by then the person in question hated me, because of the way I had treated them. Did I mention I wasn't the smartest person in the world?

Sometimes Mia would get tired of me and pick another best friend. By the end of high school, we would have been considered "frenemies" if the expression had been coined back in the eighties.

I also need to go off on a bit of a tangent and talk about Mia's mother. I loved her mother. She never made me feel unwelcome as so many parents did. And who could blame them? Her house always felt like getting a hug. I'm sure there were many times she wanted to choke me, but I only remember two exasperated comments from her in six years of friendship with Mia.

Her only flaw, and we are all flawed and human, is that she never disciplined Mia. Mia was much younger than her siblings and had almost died when she was a baby. The consequence was that she could do and have just about anything she wanted. Her mother worked her fingers to the bone, but instead of an appreciative child, she ended up with an entitled child.

Mia and I met up again in our twenties, but we were just not good for each other. The friendship had faded away by ninety-four and I haven't seen her since. I have heard gossip about her, but I have not seen her.

I have tried very hard since then to be the opposite of the person I was. There is no explanation for why I was such an awful person. I have no clue where the angst and immaturity came from but am happy to be well rid of it today. Hopefully, I am a good friend and person although I occasionally fall down on the job.

This brings us back to modern day and Facebook. I was on a different high school friend's profile, one I've reconnected with. She is funny and great and I'm glad we are friends again. She even lives a short half hour away.

Since it was retro week on Facebook, and we had high school pictures posted, we started talking about "back in the day." And Big Mouth Carolyn (that's me) unthinkingly made a comment about Mia's present day issues.

Another person (I'll call her Dingle Berry) made a comment that she was friends with Mia and that comment was uncalled for. She was right. I should not have put something in a public forum like that. I was not thinking when I opened my big mouth.

I apologized and removed the comment.

One would think it ended there. It didn't.

I soon received a friend request from (gasp) Mia. It was only on my home page for about five minutes before it was withdrawn. If I blinked, I would have missed it.

If Mia had wanted to e-mail me, I would have apologized. I had no right to air her dirty laundry. I can only assume she was trying to tell me she had her eye on me. And Lord help me, it made me laugh. We are forty years old. High school is finished, ended!

On the other hand, I do feel bad that Mia found out about the comment. While she is not somebody I would be friends with today, I would never purposely hurt her feelings. Dingle Berry took it upon herself to do that for me. With friends like that, who needs enemas?

My lesson has been learned. Do not EVER say something in a public forum you would not say to a person's face. It just might come back to bite you in the ass. OUCH!

14 Comments:

Blogger Bearette24 said...

true...facebook can be dangerous :)

6:59 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

Yep, I have a big chunk bit out of my butt and it's already too flat as it is!

7:13 PM  
Blogger Paula said...

Don't beat yourself up Caro. We've all let something slip that we wish we didn't. And anyway, it seems to me the universe may be evening things out just a bit.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Paula said...

You know...since she maybe wasn't the nicest friend to you.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

Paula - She was a wee bit evil truth be told. But maybe she would say the same about me. Thank you for the nice comments.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

I think its her karma for being the way she was. Don't feel too bad:( You are human afterall!
I fully admit to getting a
thrill when old frenemies try to
add me,and I iggnore them. I think,HA! Take that bitch!
lol,immature yes,satisfying,YES!

9:36 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

Ms. L - Yes, I'm glad I didn't accept it. There was a definite freak out factor when the request showed up. (As you know, lol) But the more I thought about it, the more I had to chuckle about how some people don't change a lot.

11:07 AM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

Facebook has the crazies coming out of the woodwork! But you are right...still like High school. I think all funny, smart people go through a nasty period full of angst. It can't be helped.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

GM - So how long was your angst period?

5:07 PM  
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12:10 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

Dear Anonymous,

Please invest in proper English.

Thank you.

5:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It doesn't sound like your "friends" have changed much.

Yes, you were an angry teen but I have always loved you and you are now one of the nicest, kindest most caring people I have ever known.
I am so proud of you.

Mom

10:54 AM  
Blogger Chris H said...

I agree... it pays to really think about stuff you put out there... very carefully!
Your Mum sounds lovely.
Anonymous... is a twit.... you can bag her all ya like!

1:30 AM  
Blogger MsCellania said...

That friend who eagerly related bad news? Is the truly evil one.
I would unfriend her poste haste.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all just Go Off on people like the Jim Carey character in Liar, Liar (or whatever that movie was)?! Why beat around the bush -- call an asshat, an asshat. And walk away without defending the statement.

9:45 PM  

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