A Saturday Nap

Me to husband: I'm going to shut my eyelids for a bit. They're feeling heavy.

Husband to son: Leave your Mom alone. She is taking a nap.

Husband and son leave room. Husband shuts door.

Five minutes later...

BAM, door flies open.

Son: Mom, I want a soda.

Me: They're in a carton next to the fridge.

Two minutes later...

BAM!

Son: I can't open this. (holding a two liter bottle)

Me: That is old and flat. The sodas are in a carton NEXT TO the fridge.

Two minutes later...

BAM!

Son: I can't find them.

Me: GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! I AM TRYING TO NAP! IF YOU CAN'T FIND THEM, THEN YOU ARE OUT OF LUCK! DRINK WATER!

Two minutes later...

Ring, ring, ring, ring,

"Hello, you have reached..."

Three minutes later...

BAM!

Daughter: Mom, can I have a play date with Tyler?

Me: Sigh.

I'm Your Biggest Fan

SJ loves ceiling fans. By "loves", I mean obsessed to the point of driving everybody around him crazy.

He wakes up talking about ceiling fans. He goes to bed talking about ceiling fans. And all day long, I hear, "blah, blah, ceiling fan, blah blah, blah."

He can easily spend the whole afternoon, if I let him, watching ceiling fan videos on YouTube. I don't know what is scarier; the fact that he can watch them that long or the fact there are so many ceiling fan videos out there. Who are these people that spend time filming and talking about their ceiling fans?

SJ talks about down rods, what time of year a fan should go clockwise vs. counterclockwise, Hunter brand, Casablanca brand, number of blades, different colors, etc...I've not even touched on a tenth of it.

He has decided recently that he wants a special switch for the ceiling fan in his room. He is tired of having to pull the chain to turn it on. He wants a switch that will turn it on and off, adjust speeds and dim the lights.

My husband explained to him such a switch requires running some different wiring so it's not something we're going to do right now. However, he has been begging to go to Home Depot anyway. So I took him on Tuesday afternoon. First I told him we were not getting a switch. We could get a new pull chain, but that was it.

As we were walking in the Home Depot, he pointed out to me the sign that read "The Home Depot." He thought it was kind of strange the word "The" was at the beginning of the sign. I had to concur as I always thought they were called Home Depot not The Home Depot.

We went in and he led me back to the ceiling fans. It's good to know that one of us doesn't get lost in "The" Home Depot.

We looked at big ceiling fans and little ceiling fans, fans with blades that went in different directions, white ceiling fans, brown ceiling fans, industrial looking ceiling fans, princess ceiling fans, etc...

He found the switch he wanted. I told him to remember we weren't getting it right now. Not only was it twenty-four dollars, he would have nagged my husband to death to install it. We found a chain pull. There was a surprising lack of selection but he found one with a baseball decoration on the end.

Then we looked at the fans some more while he told me all about the different features. At one point he looked up, and I had to laugh at the look on his face. He looked like a religious painting, look of rapture on his face, staring up high while being bathed in light. It was one of those things that had to be seen to be believed. Imelda Marcos couldn't possibly have had half as good a time when she went shoe shopping.

He reluctantly let me lead him out of the store after half an hour. We paid for our five dollar chain pull. (Good grief!) Then we went to a play date at the park.

I'm sure some day this obsession will be over, but I'm not counting on it anytime soon. In the meantime, if somebody wants to buy a nice ceiling fan, I have a 7-year old who can give you some expert advice.