Note: I hope I don't offend anybody with this piece. I realize opinions are like rear ends. We all have them. Your opinion may differ from mine and all opinions are welcome. Friendly debate is always encouraged. Just don't be bashing me man! :)
A person would have to be living in a cave not to realize that the upcoming presidential election is VERY IMPORTANT.
So what happens when an election is important and we need a strong, new person to run our country?
We get crap to vote for, just like in the last two presidential elections!
Way back when, the first time Bush ran for president, my husband and I tuned into one of the debates between him and Gore. While I can't remember what they debated, I do remember the one line that Gore repeated over and over. "Those tax cuts you are planning only go to the wealthiest one-percent of Americans!"
Did he have much more to say than that? No. He was a total Whiny McWhinerson. The majority of people hear enough whining in their daily lives so Bush won.
What did Gore do? He had the votes recounted and recounted again. Then he said it was the Clintons fault he lost. See! Whiny McWhinerson!
For the next election, the democrats offered up John Kerry. It seems not much about him resonated with voters either. On the bright side, Herman Munster jokes abounded.
Now here we are again. It is time to make a change in this country. At the very least, it would be nice for a Democratic president.
(I am neither a Democrat or Republican for the record, just saying it's time for a change.)
What is offered up to us? HILARY CLINTON! If that woman's nose grew every time she lied, astronauts could hitch to it and shimmy up to the moon. And speaking of lying, when she ran for the senate, didn't she say she had no interest in running for president?
I think she's either very arrogant or very stupid to think she can win. (Hilary supporters feel free to come back and say neener neener neener to me if she does win.)
Then we have Obama. When Oprah starts backing somebody, I start to worry. Oprah, we love you but we don't want you involved with political decision making.
What we need is a candidate who will appeal to men AND women. We are tired of voting for the candidate who sucks the least. We want a candidate we can get excited about. So, without more rambling, I present to you VIN DIESEL!
Men will admire him because he's tough.
I can imagine him now making the phone calls to the countries that owe us money.
"Hello, Mr. Dictator Beelzebub of Hell. It has come to my attention that you owe us ten billion dollars. We very much need you to start paying us back so we can apply it to our national debt."
"But, Mr. President, I don't have the money. I spent it on yachts and a castle."
"Mr. Beelzebub, do I need to come visit and get medieval on your buttocks?"
"Oh no, no need for that Mr. President, I will start selling off some of my assets. In fact, I am putting a check in the mail as we speak."
"That's more like it. Have a great day. I'll be in touch."
Women would never miss watching a State of the Union address. In fact they would have parties arranged around them, much like men do for football games. We might even notice what he was talking about over the ribald comments and catcalls.
Now if only we can talk him into running...